Bonds And Love(Rivchet)

Found

*Alister's P.O.V*

Letting myself mourn was definitely something I didn't think i'd be doing openly while I was within earshot of anyone that could be listening for anything out of the ordinary yet I realized that I surprisingly didn't really care if someone heard. The guilt of everything I've caused by trusting that craigmite had hit me full force the day ratchet had confronted me in that old rareitanium mine and again when I foolishly tried to use the Great Clock to try to right the wrongs I had committed but, what stuck out the most was that in one timeline that Clank had corrected just in time before it was permanently set was that I had killed my best friend's son and my nephew because he had tried to stop me from making my second worst decision of my life.

The days I had nightmares it was either reliving watching old fastoon burn to ash and seeing so many innocents dying just because of what they were and every time I saw Kaden's last moments no matter how many times I tried stopping him. Even in dreams his fate was sealed. During the nights I relive the fresher memories of the clock things were very different.

I would be in ratchet's position in these and could see my dream self aim with a look so full of anger that in the real world I now understood why ratchet was shaky when I looked remotely angry. In the dreams I would see my dream self load the blast and finally with a very shaky arm from the sheer power behind it would launch it at such inhumane speeds that guaranteed death if hit and yet no matter how I willed myself/ratchet to move out of the way I feel the blast connect and send absolutely excruciating pain that only lasts a couple seconds before I/ratchet's heart stops beating before we fall over the edge. Every single time I have that dream I find ratchet and myself wake up with a gasp, both our hearts likely pounding painfully, both were covered in sweat and often times we'd both quickly have to make our way to or respective bathrooms as we empty the contents of what was in it into the toilet. From here it was only me that suffered further while ratchet gets brought back to bed by either my daughter or Clank.

For myself I always end up spending a good ten minutes or so just to calm down the pounding of my heart and then another hour or two to calm my breathing as well as the shivering of my body as I always felt frozen after that particular nightmare which was likely my minds way to say "this is what you caused to ratchet! This is how he felt before he passed away! All he knew was pain,suffering and betrayal all because of you!"

Back to the present day I could hear someone calling out my name and as I looked up I was met with none other then ratchet who was surprisingly by himself and had ran towards me as if he had sensed where I had gone even though there were four alleys I could of ended up. As he got closer I could hear him panting slightly which made me think he had been running the entire time despite being told not to be doing that right now and though I wanted to scold him about it the rant had died in my throat before I could get it out.

When I actually took a second to look at his body posture it told me everything I needed to know. Ratchet had been worried about me and had gone looking for me instead of continuing on his way with Rivet, Kit, Rex and Clank like most would and seemed to have grabbed some food for me along the way. As soon as the scent of the food hit me I realized just how hungry I was and after looking to the sky I had seen that I had been in this alley for hours.

That alone made me feel guilty for making him worry though the next thing I realized is just how shaky ratchet seemed from overdoing things and so I had ushered him over so he could sit for a bit to catch his breath and give his back a break as I didn't have a dose of the pain medicine they had assigned Ratchet on hand. As soon as Ratchet sat down he had let out a relived sigh as he leaned his back against the wall the best he could and had taken some time to relax and catch his breath while giving me the food he had grabbed for me.

After I thanked him I had ate quietly though I did occasionally check in on Ratchet to see how he was doing and was relieved his shaking had subsided after about twenty minutes though I don't think he should get up for at least another half hour or so. I hate admitting it but I had a feeling even after ratchet was given the okay to take the brace off he was likely going to be dealing with Chronic back pain if he didn't already from lugging his comically large but, powerful guns around for so many years that they seemed like paper weights. For now I had messages the others and let them know me and ratchet were safe and that we would be on our way back in about fourty minutes or so after sending the message I simply enjoyed ratchet's company and the food he had brought.