Hate You

Ch.2~ StaY AlIvE

*Small Trigger Warning!!!*

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"The rush I had every time it dissolved under my tongue felt amazing. The coating gave me a sense of freedom I've never felt with any coping mechanism I've tried. It felt like no one could hurt me anymore, I was unstoppable. My smile was artificially big which I didn't mind, no one could truly tell the difference anymore. All was well until his texts appeared in my phone again."

May 31st

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him.

May 30th

1:23p hey... can we meet up?

1:24p I just wanted to talk... I feel terrible for how things went the other night. Can we fix things?

May 31st new

1:25p : sae please... I know you read my message.
1:25p : let me fix this, I shouldn't have said those things....
read
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I resisted at first, I couldn't give less of a shit about seeing his bitter face again. He broke me more than I could ever imagine. Why the hell would I want to "talk?"

Around the time I read his message, I had finished crying for the second time that day. My mother insulted me for the 5th time that week about my habits around the apartment, how I'm always being sensitive when she strikes me. The excuse was to give me tough skin, which is why she yelled so often. Wanting me to be "better" as she put it. I know I shouldn't have gone... but I hoped that his arms would hold the key to me being free from the sadness I had resting on my shoulders. I took the small pill bottle hidden under my pillow out, slipping one pill under my tongue. I will let the pill be my hug, it felt like the only way I could resist him. I will show him that I'm happy, I'm not miserable.

I had ignored everyone else that week unless it was a notification about a party they wanted to go to. They didn't notice it much, I thought they got the passive message about wanting space. Zeno would be the first person I interacted out of the group after that night. I'm going to regret this aren't I? Inhaling my thoughts through the vaped perfection, I open the messages between us and typed with quickness. A simplistic answer to give off the energy that it would be quick and out of the way.

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him.

1:27p: where?

1:27p : at a park, the one near you?

1:28p be there in 10.

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I turned the screen off quickly, no need to linger for a confirmation message. I wanted to dress minimalistic too, I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a big shirt that will hang a bit past my waist. I covered all my scars and bruises with this shirt size so it was perfect. With my black converse on, I grabbed my keys, leaf pen, and phone, quietly leaving the apartment without anyone noticing.