Hate You

Ch.3~ JunKiE

Trigger Warning!!!

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The days went by quickly, without a single significant memory to be held close to me. Birthdays, vacations, nights at home were all a blur. After being sent to the group, I started to let go of them, there was an outlet that felt safer in my eyes. Relearning what it was like to be happy and sober. Except for the casual use of leaves.

When telling the support group about my first time using, I... might have sugar coded somethings. I couldn't risk information about my mother spreading because of what I feared would happen. I covered plenty of bruises she gave me during the summer. Easy to gain when you're home for 15 out of the 24 hours of being home. The meetings eventually became a safe place, I opened up more about the times I would use and why I chose those moments. For the moments I felt in need I didn't do much details, besides not wanting to feel anything. Other times I had no idea why or how the pill ended up in my mouth.

It wasn't until this night, that I remember the real reason why it became my best friend.

Present Time: August 22nd

Sitting in my usual spot; I waited for the support meeting to begin. I decided to wear a beige skirt to accommodate for the warm weather, along with a white crop t-shirt and a brown hooded jacket with a tiny bear on the front. I let it hang loosely off my shoulders, the sneakers I chose matched the color scheme with it being white, chunky and it comforted my feet just right. I had forgotten to wash my long socks this day and just wore regular ankle socks, my brown skin shined in the dem lighting exposing a couple bruises I had from being drunk or being in trouble at home. With my hair straightened and makeup softly done, I felt a little confident in today's support group look. I didn't look like I was running off of energy drinks and willpower for once.

I scrolled on my phone, relaxed into the seat that somehow became comfortable as well. My friends instagram group chat pinged consistently with reels of different genres. I watched them, trying to hide my laughter to make sure the member didn't think I was loosing my mind. I didn't count the shadows going by, but I felt a familiar presences of one stop in front of me like it always did.

"Saeroyi hello!" It was Serrah, she became my favorite over time so I was a bit excited to see her. I gave her a flashy excited greeting and she continued to pass by to her seat. I figured the meeting was starting, so I ended up reacting to my last post of the group chat and put my phone on silent then away into my jacket pocket. Serrah got comfortable while she watched the rest of the members file in and sit down in their seats before she began the meeting.

"Hi guys! Welcome back, hope everyone had an amazing day and weekend so far. Tonight I wanted to do an exercise that requires us to make friends!" Another reason I began to like it here, I didn't always have to share sad and pitiful stories about my life. We had a task to help us cope every meeting, which made me feel like I was being cradled in the arms of someone who knew what I was feeling. "Okay I'm going to pick pairs so that way we have some people making new interactions!" She went around in the circle, mixing males and females, then some same gender pairs, until I was the last one left. That's weird...

"Saeroyi, you'll be with me!" She looked towards me with a confirming smile on her face, then back around the room. Okay no this is weird, did I do something? "Tonight's topic will be about family! Share your family stories to each other, of course anything you don't want to share please keep it to yourselves. Alright, get to it guys!" Everyone stood in unison and made their way to their 'new friend.'