Reaching You

siete

ALIANNA

 "Ali... what just happened?" she stammered, her cheeks flushed crimson. I could hardly grasp my own emotions. I was caught in the aftermath of a decision that felt both right and wrong. My brain screamed at me, reminding me of Jeremy's laughter, his presence, while my heart delighted in the warmth emanating from Maven.

"God, Maven, I'm so sorry," the words tumbled from my lips. "I-I didn't mean to...."

"Masyado na yatang naparami inom mo." she softly said.

"Mavs... I'm sorry. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ginawa 'yon." 

Maven's expression softened, but her voice quaked with resolve. "That's just it, Ali. I lik-" 

"ALI!"

MAVEN

"That's just it, Ali. I lik-" I took a lot of courage to confess right now when someone's voice cut me off.

"ALI!"

I heard Jeremy's voice rise above the music, calling for Ali. The spell shattered. I pulled back, feeling the spark flicker out as the reality of our situation crashed over me like ice water. The warmth of her kiss lingered on my lips, but dread clenched my stomach. I wanted to scream for her to stay; to tell her that what I felt was real, that the kiss meant something. But Jeremy's figure loomed closer, and I could see the tension etched in Ali's features. Her expression mirrored my turmoil—a mix of regret and confusion that mirrored my own.

I stepped away, caught in a web of emotions so tangled that I could hardly breathe. I didn't want to ruin what we had, yet the thought of pretending that kiss was just a careless whim—an accidental flicker in our friendship—made my heart ache. 

Jeremy reached us, placing a possessive arm around Ali, and in that moment, I knew I had lost my chance. I could have fought for her, for us, but how could I when she had someone she had chosen? Her eyes darted between Jeremy and me, and I watched as she became a butterfly caught between two flowers—one bright and familiar, the other a bloom bursting with uncharted potential.

"Kanina pa kita hinahanap, nandito ka lang pala," sabi nito at tumingin sa akin.

"Oh Maven, Mind if I steal my girlfriend for a dance?" he asked, I just nodded and forced a smile. My heart sank, and the warmth from the kiss started to flutter away into a painful mix of confusion and longing. In that sudden instant, a tidal wave of desire crashed against the shore of my heart, while I struggled to make sense of what had just happened.

With every sway of Ali and Jeremy, it felt as though I was trapped behind a pane of glass, longing to break free. Questions drummed in my mind: Did she feel anything from our kiss? Did it mean nothing to her? I realized I could not hold back any longer; the weight of unconfessed feelings was growing too heavy. 

The ball slid into a blur of forgotten conversations and false smiles. I wandered about the hall, searching for Ali, but all I found were echoes of laughter that felt so far removed from the turmoil brewing in my heart. I wanted to call her name, to demand she come talk to me, but I kept my silence. Maybe it was better this way. I couldn't bear the thought of driving a wedge between her and Jeremy, and selfishly spilling my heart wasn't an option. So, I've decided to leave the party.

Sasakay na sana ako sa kotse nang biglang may humigit sa kamay ko. "At saan ka pupunta." Taas kilay na tanong ni Maloi.

"I.. just need some air." mahinang sagot ko at napatungo. The truth was heavier than the night itself; I needed to leave because watching Ali laugh and dance, so effortlessly in love, was eating away at my insides.