Reaching You

once

AFTER 3 MONTHS

MAVEN

Ali and I had confessed our feelings for each other three months ago, wrapped in the warmth of a summer evening when the fireflies danced around us. Since then, we flitted around each other like moths drawn to a flame, sneaking glances in the cafeteria, stealing touches in the hallways, and always making sure none of our friends caught on to our secret. We were doing everything to keep our world hidden, yet every stolen moment there was always the fear of being discovered.

It was a typical Tuesday afternoon, the sunlight spilling through the slatted blinds in rays of golden warmth, casting playful patterns on the worn-out linoleum floor. The classroom was mostly empty; our prof had stepped out for a moment, leaving behind the nervous energy that buzzed in the air. I glanced at Ali, my heart raced. She caught my eye and smirked, that wicked glint dancing within her hazel irises, and before I knew it, the world outside had faded into a blur.

In a sudden rush of daring, we found ourselves leaning closer, our breaths mingling as I whispered her name. The warmth of her skin against mine sent shivers down my spine; it felt like a confession, like we were finally breaking some unfathomable barrier. Time seemed to freeze as our lips met, soft and tentative at first, then growing bolder amidst the thrill of secrecy. It felt forbidden, exhilarating, as if we were the only two people in existence, lost in a moment that was ours alone.

But just as the kiss deepened, a loud clattering sound disrupted our little world—the unmistakable voice of our friend Sheena echoing through the hallway. In a panic, I pulled away, my heart racing for an entirely different reason now. 

"Sheena!" I hissed, my voice a frantic whisper just as Ali's quick thinking kicked in. In a split-second decision, Ali had dropped to the floor, playfully nudging me under the desk with her.

With my heart racing and breath caught in my throat, I snuggled beneath the desk, our knees brushing together, the rush of our adrenaline mixing with the sweetness of the moment. All I could see was Ali's mischievous grin, but beneath the surface, I was holding back the swirling emotions that tangled us together. Did she really want to keep hiding like this? Did our love mean so little to her that we had to continue living in the shadows of secretive kisses?

It was dark under there, the faint scent of chalk dust and old wood filling the space. I could hear my breath quickening, and Ali's presence made every inch of me tingle with a mix of fear and excitement. We listened as Sheena's footsteps approached, her voice rising as she chatted loudly with someone else. 

The sound of laughter outside deepened my anxiety; what if Sheena found us? I bit my lip, squirming slightly to get more comfortable, and it only served to bring my body even closer to Ali's. It felt like a dream, one that paused on a precipice between bliss and reality. Then, just like that, Sheena walked past, oblivious to the secret tucked under her very own desk. As she knocked on the door and left, a collective sigh of relief spilled out of us.

Emerging from our hiding spot, I faced Ali, adrenaline still coursing through my veins. 

"That was too close," I breathed, my heart racing not just from the thrill of almost getting caught but from the undeniable bond that pulsed between us. Ali smiled, and in that moment, I made a choice. 

"We can't keep hiding like this," I said, the weight of our shared moments pressing against my chest, "We need to be real, to be us." Ali's expression darkened, and that carefree demeanor slipped away like a shadow at dusk. 

"Maven, I... I don't know if I'm ready for that. I think we should keep it our thing for now," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. My heart sank, the weight of those words pressing down hard against my chest. In that moment, I felt vulnerable and exposed, left hovering in the wake of an uncertain grasp that I thought we had both shared.

"Why can't we be open about this? Lagi na lang ba tayong magtatago?" I asked, my voice a hushed tremor of fear and frustration. Ali searched my gaze, her expression an intricate mess of emotions. 

"Maven, it's not that I don't care about us. I just... I'm worried. It's complicated," she replied, her voice trembling on the edge of vulnerability and anxiety. At that moment, I felt the sting of unspoken words and the pain of unreciprocated aspirations. 

"Ikinahihiya mo ba ako?" I asked, tears pricking at the edges of my eyes.

"NO! It's not like that, Mavy." 

"Then what, Ali!" 

"Hindi mo maiintindihan..."

"Paano ko nga maiintindihan kung hindi mo naman sinasabi?" 

"It's just... I-"

"Ate Al! Maven! kanina pa namin kayo hinahanap. Tara na mag-lunch." aya ni Maloi at umalis.

"Let's take it slow, Mavy." Ali suggested, brushing her fingers against my cheek at sinundan si Maloi.

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It's strange how the heart can feel so heavy, tangled in a web of words that pierce more than any sword. That's how I felt that afternoon when Ali's voice dropped low, whispering that we needed to keep our relationship "lower." I could still see the way her eyes darted away, the way her hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, as if tying her feelings down would somehow ease her burden. I could hardly breathe. The weight of her words hung in the air, thick and suffocating, and I just stood there, trying to process what had been said.

Ali and I had shared countless afternoons, laughter echoing around us like music. We'd wandered through the city, walked hand-in-hand until my heart ached with the joy of it. But now? Now the world felt different, colder. It wasn't just the sting of rejection but the bitter taste of fear—that something so beautiful could be condemned to the shadows because it wasn't "safe." My heart was a storm, swirling chaos of anger and sadness. What kind of love needed to be hidden?

That night, as I lay in bed, I couldn't shake the thought of Ali's expression when she spoke. I picked up my phone to scroll aimlessly, desperate for distraction. It was then that my friend, Jacey, called. 

"Mavs, you won't believe who I bumped into today," she exclaimed before I could respond. Just those few words set my heart racing, already knowing the answer. 

"It's Denise. She's back....at ito pa, nagpunta siya sa campus kanina, hinahanap ka."

-short ud :D