Bellingham Imagines

Jude Bellingham - Worried

warnings: mentions of disordered eating, body image struggles and underweight

jude and you haven't seen each other for more than 4 months.

and it was absolute torture.

back when he was at dortmund the way wasn't that far to england so you saw each other more often. But now with him at madrid, it was hard.

especially with school, you wanted to finish your degree before moving in with jude, just in case, you always said. you wanted to have something in your hand, something to work with, in case something happens between the two of you.

but school was equally as hard, you were drained, not having anyone to help you, your parents moved back to their hometown in italy when you were eighteen and started university.

you felt the weight of your university work pressing down on your shoulders as you sat in your small, dimly lit apartment in England.

Despite the constant ache of missing Jude, you didn't want to burden him with your struggles. You knew how important his career was and didn't want to add to his stress. So, you kept your feelings to yourself, focusing on your studies and trying to manage everything on your own.

The days blurred together in a haze of lectures, assignments, and endless hours in the library. Your friends noticed you growing silent and withdrawal, but you brushed off their concerns with a forced smile and a few words about being busy. You felt like you were barely keeping your head above water, but you were determined not to let anyone see how much you was struggling.

Jude, meanwhile, was busy with his training schedule. He missed you terribly but was unaware of how bad things had gotten for you. He would send you texts and voice messages whenever he had a spare moment, but your responses were often brief and delayed.

You felt the weight of your university work pressing down on your shoulders as you sat in your small, dimly lit apartment in England. Your parents had moved back to Italy when you started university at 18, leaving you alone to navigate this new chapter of your life. The distance between you and your loved ones was becoming unbearable, and the stress of your studies only added to your loneliness.

You had always struggled with taking care of yourself during stressful times, and now was no exception. Your eating habits had become erratic; you often skipped meals, telling yourself you were too busy to eat. The constant bombardment of messages you saw because of girls who want jude, made you feel insecure about your body, and you became fixated on the idea that you needed to be thinner to feel validated, both academically and personally.

Despite the constant ache of missing Jude, you didn't want to burden him with your struggles. You knew how important his career was and didn't want to add to his stress. So, you kept your feelings to herself, focusing on your studies and trying to manage everything on your own.

One evening, after an exhausting day of training, Jude sat down and listened to your last voice message again. There was something in your tone that worried him. It was subdued, almost mechanical. He sent you a text, asking if everything was okay, but received no immediate response.
you, on the other hand, were sitting alone in your apartment, staring blankly at your computer screen. your phone buzzed with Jude's message, but you couldn't bring yourself to answer. You felt a wave of guilt and sadness wash over you.

You wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice, but the thought of breaking down in front of him was too much to bear.

That night, you cried yourself to sleep, feeling more alone than ever. You knew you needed to reach out to someone, anyone, but your pride and fear held you back. The next morning, you dragged herself out of bed and headed to class, determined to push through another day.