all too well - Theodore Nott

chapter 20

"What?" Selene shouted.

"Please lower your voice, Selene." Her mother rubbed her forehead, eyes squeezed shut.

"I'm not going to stay the summer with Dad and his new wife."

"They are not married yet, Selene. That's why he wants you to spend the last week of winter break with him, to get to know her."

"I don't want to get to know her. Why aren't you understanding that?"

"I do understand Selene. I understand what you are going through. But he is still your dad. He still loves you."

Selene ran her hand through her hair. "I haven't forgiven him, Mom."

Her mom sighed, taking a sip of coffee. "It may take some time."

"Have you forgiven him?" Selene asked, peering closely at her face.

It took her mother a minute to respond, "I like to believe I have. It doesn't mean I am hurt any less. He is a good man who made some wrong decisions. I fully believe that."

"A wrong decision is deciding to get milk that expires in a day and thinking you are going to drink it by then. Cheating on your wife is a is a whole other level of wrong."

"Selene, you need to forgive him. It is going to hurt you more than it hurts him if you do not."

Selene blew out a breath. "When do I leave?"

"You'll get there on boxing day and leave on New Year."

"So a little bit less than a week?"

"Yes," her mom smiled. "Also, your dress fitting is at three today."

"Mom," Selene collapsed across the kitchen table from her mother and drawing out the word with a groan. "Do I have to go to the Ministry Ball this year?"

"Yes, you have to."

"But I'll probably cry after. Really sad crying."

"I'll make sure to bring tissues."

Music flowed through the room as Selene moved around the outside of the dance floor. Couples were swaying to the music at the center while others were laughing, talking, and drinking on the outside of the floor. Selene stopped at the food table. She scanned the beautifully arranged foods and desserts, dragging her fingernail across the edge of the tablecloth lightly.

Her other hand lay lightly at her stomach, which felt empty. She has been so consumed with Theodore the last few weeks that she had forgotten that it was not the worst thing that had happened this year. He had made her forget. He made her feel better, and now he was gone, and that caused a fresh pain. The two swirled together in her chest now, intertwining in a shared belief: to hurt Selene.

Someone came up next to her, shadow falling across the table, and laid a long, thin black box down. Selene followed the box to the hand, then to the arm, and then to the face. She rolled her eyes and lifted her finger, about to turn away when her eyes met theirs.

"Selene, wait," Nott said, his hand reaching out, lightly grabbing her wrist. Flesh to flesh.

He wasn't looking at her. Instead, he was staring intently at a chocolate fountain that was bubbling in front of them. He pushed the box towards her, not even blinking. Selene sighed and pursed her lips before reluctantly picking the box up. She pulled the lid off and peeled back the tissue paper that crinkled at her touch. Inside lay a large white hair bow. It was silky and soft as Selene traced her finger over it.

"This is the same one as..." She trailed off.

"The one I caught on fire when we first met. Yeah."

Selene stared at it for a second before she let it drop to the table. "No thanks."

"Please, Selene," His voice cracked, "I really like you."

"Oh, so you like me just not my blood or my family or anything I stand for? Merlin, Theo, you can't even look at me when you talk because you do want people to see us together. What do you think I am going to take from that?"

"I don't know. I don't know how to deal with this."

"You thought it could all go back to how it was? Well, it can't. Not everything can be bought with a gift or status, and you not knowing that is exactly why I cannot just forget everything you said."

He stood there still not facing her, his shoulders slumped.

"I meant what I said, Theo. You and everyone in this world are too focused on blood. There are wars brewing because of it. People are dying. It is bullshit and you are one of the people adding to the flame.  I don't want to talk to you again. Please."

"Okay," He turned around, finally meeting her pleading eyes with ones of fire. "I'll go back to not flinching when people call you a traitor. I'll go back to not telling Daphne to stop when she makes fun of you."

"I didn't ask you to do any of that."

"You didn't have to because I care for you, Selene. I did not understand it was possible to care about someone in the way that I care about you. It has surpassed just caring; I am obsessed with you. You have been all I have thought about for months. Honestly, you have always been there, in the back of my mind, since you set my pants on fire."

Selene shook her head but didn't say anything.

"I'll go back to pretending that you are a total fucking mud blood."

"Woah there. That's not how you talk to a lady, son," came a deep voice behind her.

Selene turned around to see Mr. Nott. He gave her a cold smile, "Apologies to Ms. Parkinson, Theodore."

"No, thank you," Selene said coolly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Selene looked at him for a second, then started to walk away. Mr. Nott's hand shot out and grabbed her arms.

"Stay away from my son, Ms. Parkinson." He whispered, breath hot on her face, "He is very impressionable, and I am afraid he isn't very set on sharing the views that I and the rest of the Pureblood families have. The correct views. I'm sure you know by now that if you come near my son again, then it won't be you that is punished. It will be him. I'm not very attached to him, you see, and let us just say that I am not scared of hurting him."

Selene put on a sweet smile. "I don't plan on coming near your son again, Mr. Nott. In the most disrespectful way possible, go to hell."