Give It A Chance

Confession

Yashna
I just get back home, he dropped me.
He didn't say anything about that confession and I'm too shocked to ask anything or initiate anything.
But I really want him to kiss me huh I'm a pathetic looser.
I just started to change when I heard someone ring my bell.
I go downstairs to open when I open that gate I meet with the most unexpected site infront of me.
I try to say something but he pushed me to inside harshly and in a second he is on me he closes door with his other hand and start pushing me inside he lips working on mine too harshly I can't breath I tap his shoulder and he give me a second to breathe and he is on me again I smiled in the kiss he smiles too and then he stop attacking my mouth.
After catching my breath again I asked him what is he doing here
I want to kiss you so badly I cannot go without kissing you and
And?
And I know I make you uncomfortable with that
With what? I ask
You know na with that statement I mentioned in last
Which is?
He closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them again I see something in them.
See I'm not gonna lied l love you okay,from the first day I saw you I'm in love with you, the day you accuse me that I'm a pervert I'm not a pervert I just lost on your eyes I knew that exact moment that I found my favourite pair of eyes.
You called me pervert you called me idiot you being rude to me you ignore my existence you laugh with everyone but me.
It fucking hurt me everyday but my love for you was always there.
I can't unlove you baby I can't
You are tangled in my soul.
I don't know if you believe me or not but I love you
I love you with all my heart with every bone in me with every drop of blood with every beat with everything I have.
I love you..
His eyes become watery and I can't think straight.. This is all too much for me to digest.
He looked at me for two min straight and I can't form a single sentence.
He looks hurt he start walking towards door he opens the door and wait a minute for me to say something but I don't know how to respond.
And with he slams door shut aggressively.

I'm standing here like a statue I wanted to say so many things but I'm too afraid to confess my love for him, he doesn't know anything about my past, he doesn't know about my scars, he doesn't know my pain mg loss he knows nothing.

I slept for two days I call Nandita and asked her for all my unused leaves, and inform her I'll out to town for 15 days.
I don't want to meet anyone, I have to go somewhere I need to meet someone.
But I'm too afraid to meet them.

Flashback
You are so full of yourself Yashna, you are no human you are a monster.
I hate you how can you do this to me,
I didn't do anything trust me, i cry
No you are a pathetic human being stop crying even your tears are fake.
You are fake, you are a liar.
You lied to me you said you love me but you didn't
No.. no .no please don't say that I love you I love you so much...
I fucking hate you, yashna...
I don't want to see your face again never in my life..
He is gone... He is really gone.. he leaves me
He doesn't trust me he trust those bastards but not me..
How can he do this to me..
I love him with all my heart with everything I have. He knows he is the only one I love.
I don't have anyone in this whole world except him.. I'm wrong he is also not mine..
I'm again alone in this world I'm always alone so why am I crying?
That's nothing new to me..
Flashback ends
I woke up crying, I think these nightmares had stop but no, they started coming back.
I knew it this supposed to be happened.
But in all this why is he suffering, I feel bad for him and I missed him too..
Anju aunty comes daily make something for me do their chores and leave.
Door bell ring I think anju aunty forget something, i opened the door and he is standing right infront of me, I wanted to hug him I craved for his touch but I stand still.
Why are you ignoring me he asked
I'm not ignoring you I said
So why are you not coming office, I have something personal to do..
Ohh really?
Yes I said
Is this all about that confession he asked
No. He cut me off
If this is about that, that you are not interested in commitment or something like just told me so.
No it's not about commitment, it's not about you.
It's about me I have something to sort first.
Are you crying he asked?
He asked about me crying, when he is not look so good himself.
No, are you okay?
Yes I'm okay he said
Have you eat something??
I didn't say anything
Okay come let's have lunch he said
I just stare at him.
I'm hungry so let's eat first then we can do this staring competition.
I nod
He serves food for both of us.
We eat in silence.
Okay I'm gonna go now he said
Goodnight
Ved I said he stops and turn back to look at me
Hmm he hum
Can you stay I asked
He nodd okay..
We sit on the couch, do you want to watch something i asked
Sure he said
What you want to watch
Whatever you like he said
I play F.R.I.E.N.D.S
We just sat there and watch tv.
After some time I dozzed off.