Poetry Blossoms Within

Not Actually

**You Don't Actually Want To Be With Me**

You say you want to be with me,
like it's a dream, a fantasy,
but you don't actually know
the reality that comes with me.

You don't want to see
the shadows that I carry,
the darkness in my mind
that's anything but ordinary.

You don't want to touch
the scars beneath my skin,
the battles I've fought,
the wars I've kept within.

You see the smiles,
the laughter, the light,
but you don't see the nights
when I'm lost in the fight.

You don't actually want
the chaos and the pain,
the tears that fall like rain,
the madness in my brain.

You want the highlight reel,
the polished, shiny part,
but you don't want the broken bits,
the shattered pieces of my heart.

You don't want the silence,
the times when words are gone,
when I retreat into myself,
and you're left hanging on.

You don't want the reality,
the mess, the fear, the doubt,
you want the fairy tale,
but that's not what I'm about.

You don't actually want
to see me at my worst,
when the demons come out,
and I feel like I'm cursed.

You don't want the baggage,
the history, the scars,
you want the shooting star,
but not the trip to Mars.

So let's be real,
let's call it what it is,
you love the idea,
but not the life that's his.

You don't actually want
the depth, the grind, the strife,
you want the sugar coating,
not the bitter taste of life.

So before you say you love me,
take a look, see the truth,
you don't actually want to be with me,
you just want the youth.

You want the dreams,
the highs, the ease,
but you don't want the struggle,
the reality that sees.

You don't actually want
the person I am,
you want the illusion,
the perfect Instagram.

So let's not pretend,
let's not play the game,
you don't actually want to be with me,
and that's a crying shame.