Dear Jerome (Merome) (Dear Mitch)

23rd August 2020

Dear Jerome,

I'm contemplating what to write in my speech for your wedding. I would love to say a big declaration of love, and have you run from the altar to be with me, but unfortunately, our life is not a movie.

This is obviously going to be written in parts, so I'll just add the times of everything when I write - if I have time.

10:39am: I need to start the speech. I have only today to do it, mainly because I am allowing myself only today, after procrastinating for too long. Should I talk about our past? Or how we used to play? Wish you things with her that I want for us? Be right back, gonna work with some ideas.

11:09am: I have a short, bad draft.

Jerome, Louise, the others gathered here. We're here to celebrate the marriage of two people deeply in love, but for me, it's more than just that. It's one of my absolute best friends, from childhood until now, marrying and dedicating his life to the woman he loves.

That is all I have, and it is absolute BS.
Screw it, I'm getting lunch, hang on. Food is good for stimulating thought with me.

Okay, fine. That thought mainly revolves around more food. Stop judging!

12:13pm: I have just had a great sandwich and fruit smoothie, and feel much better. Let's work on a new speech that is absolute crap from start to finish. I don't know how bad it will be, but this is a fat chain of lies that'll heal and break my conscience.

Since I was ten, Jerome was always an important part of my life. It was he who guided me to the career path I'm on today, and without our mutual support for each other, I refuse to believe either of us would've made it as far as we did.

Now, it's no longer me who supports him. We are gathered to celebrate his marriage to Louise. I may not know Louise as well as I know Jerome, but I know the both of them together well enough to say that I wish them a long life together, filled with the happiness of a lifetime and beyond. Here's to hoping they'll have each other during their darkest moments, their brightest, and for the inbetween that their lives may bring them.

That was better, but it was still bull.

Obviously I am not just writing in this diary. I have a notebook next to me where I've scrawled notes and memories I can use without sounding like a class-A jerk, or an introvert. It is your wedding, after all (though it'd be much nicer if it were ours) and I should not steal Louise's thunder by making it about us.

So what to do? I don't feel the anger anymore, just a hollow sense of loss. It's probably going to be hard seeing you, since I'm slowly getting over you. It's like I'll relapse. I know I will. I'll fall for you all over again as soon as your face lights up my world, where you smile for the woman destined to be your wife.

1:12pm: I walked off and looked at a bunch of photos on my phone. It's interesting how quickly a smile can fade.

I think I'll just mix up everything from the previous speeches, add a little bit more, and we'll have a winner!

Not now though, I have a recording that has my name on it. Time for a Battledome, where it is The Pack vs. The Suckers Who Will Lose. You're obviously not going to be in it though, since I am.

There's just no Merome anymore.

One of the last times I properly talked to you was probably that day, before it all exploded. I haven't had any proper talks, other than recordings. I've done a few Solo Hunger Games, and the Games we recorded. You gave me three days where we stockpiled for hours, so we wouldn't have to do anymore games for a long while. That's okay. I've been recording with the others as well.

Okay, I really need to Battledome.

3:04pm: Got a little distracted, did a bunch of party games, but I have everything now, and the speech. It's short, it's sweet, and it's bull. Oh well.

Jerome, Louise, everyone here today. Words cannot express what I feel for this day, the day where my best friend and the love of his life get married. I know they've had the ups and downs of any relationship, but that they also make it through, together like it should be.

I still remember Jerome's reaction when he first met Louise. He'd asked her on a date, and in a moment of pure elation, got her the first necklace. He'd called me after, happiness in his voice, and said he'd never felt this way so fast. I know I speak the truth when I say nothing could stop Jerome feeling this way about her, not anyone or anything.

I got to know Louise through her time with Jerome, and she is honestly so sweet and kind. They're like lightbulbs when next to each other, lighting up and making the whole world glow. I cannot think of two people more perfect for each other. Here is to their brightest moments, darkest nights, and all the inbetween they'll have on their journey through love.

I wish them a long, happy life together, filled with the joys they deserve, and the happiness they bring each other.

This speech makes me a bit of a liar, but that's okay. It's a white lie, which means it's only here to save our skin, while our conscience bears the brunt.

We became quite the perfect storm, didn't we?

I don't regret what I have, though. Some of it is true. I do wish you're happy with Louise, happier than you could've even been with me. Actually, I know you will be. I was never going to be the right one.

Love you long time,
Mitch.