Dear Jerome (Merome) (Dear Mitch)

9th March 2021

Dear Jerome,

Happy Birthday, old friend. I hope you've had a day worthy of you.

Did you appreciate my tweet, and the fact I did it at all? I'm going to copy it out here, since it'll probably be one of the last ones. I have no cause to message you anything anymore, and there's nothing from you to reply to either.

@Bajan_Canadian: Happy Birthday @JeromeASF miss you buddy, hopefully we can catch up sometime! Love you man!

To which you replied...

@JeromeASF: @Bajan_Canadian miss you too man, love you still! :*

The fans probably thought we were just kidding around, but you don't understand how much hope that one tweet gave me.

Actually, hope is a bad word to explain it. It was more just like a little bit of joy that things weren't as tense as they used to be. I feel you loosening up a little, giving me just a little wriggle room. Then again, I can't help comparing this to Adam and I, even though it is completely different. Adam was the one who opened his arms first, but yours still seem shut.

I think the boys picked up on something. They brought you up at dinner a few days ago, and I couldn't talk very well. It was something like:

Vikk: Hey, where's Jerome? Why isn't he here?

Me: Uhm...

Rob: Yeah! Jerome should be here! He has no good excuse!

Me: I think he said he has something like dinner with Louise tonight...

Preston: Surely he could miss one dinner for his best friend's birthday?

Vikk: Oh, but they are in honeymoon stages still. Who knows, maybe it was more than dinner tonight...

Rob: Vikk!

Vikk: What? I was just saying! Plus, Lachlan isn't here either.

Preston: If he was, he'd probably be sleeping. The dude hasn't slept more than six hours a day, as far as I've heard. Little Ben is giving him some serious grief!

Rob: Like the grief I'll give Jerome?

Me: *hides*

Preston: No, but for real. Lachlan said he'll come to ArcadiaCon this year, but that's it. It's just that Amanda's parents and his aren't in Brisbane with them, so it's a little difficult for them to find babysitting and all that until his parents are back from Melbourne.

Rob: Bro, how do you know all this?

Preston: Listening.

Vikk: I wonder if Jerome is having a baby soon?

Me: I don't know.

Vikk: You should, since you've known him ages.

Me: Uhm. We don't talk much now.

Preston: Oh, that's a shame! I guess he's too busy?

Rob: He talks to us though!

Preston: Yeah, but only because I am so amazing.

The rest just went into downhill banter between Preston and Rob, but you get the drift. They knew you were gone, and have remarked on it quite a lot since then.

How have you been? No one tells me how you've been, and I can't find the strength to even begin to try and ask. Why bother? I'm just allowing myself to get hurt further.

No, that's a lie. I have walls now, but they're built around you. To be a little more precise, I mean it in the sense where I think I'd know how to protect myself if I ever saw you again, but I wouldn't hesitate to let you back in, either.

You were in a dream I had a few nights ago. I just remembed that. It was kinda crazy, and I feel slightly disorientated after it.

You were riding this majestic grey stallion, and were dressed in the most amazing black clothes. Your face was paler than normal though, but when I touched it, it was warmer than anything I'd known.

My own skin... I could feel the icy blood rushing around. I was the cold one, dressed in the snowy white tones of winter, breath like frost. I couldn't feel anything.

Then my hand touched your face, and the warmth just brushed the surface of my skin. It was like lighting a fire in me, and the smallest breath escaped me.

"What is this?" I remember asking, and you looked at me, eyes warm and happy, opposite to me.

"This is love."

Your lips pressed to mine, and now the warmth spread all over, the happiness returning, exploding from my heart like a firework.

It left me waking with a happy feeling, but that drained out of me slowly as I realised how fake it was.

Subconscious, you're a killer for the heart. You'll give me what I want, not what I have. It's like only allowing a lick of the ice-cream on the warm summer's day. You get something, but it takes more to sate the appetite. More to feel satisfaction with the result.

I feel a little robbed because of that dream. I wish there was more to it.

I wish it was real, now and forever.

Love you long time,
Mitch.

You guys should go read @FairyTailPentaholic's book on comebacks. The dude who started it (basically a document of this Twitter fight) got rekt. :3

If anyone has any reauests for an entry, drop them here! :D

Amber