Its You Or Nothing at all [Boy x Boy]

Chapter 2

There were times when I just want to chase after Ethan and be by his side. I mean I surely know he isn't fine because of the look in his eyes. His precious eyes held so many emotions but the one which shined the most was.. loneliness. I understand how it feels. Loneliness slowly kills you from inside and you see the world as a monster who's gonna eat you alive. 

Now that I think of it, I didn't saw that guy who was with Ethan in the cafe that day. Was he the reason Ethan was at the airport yesterday? Was he the reason Ethan looked so sad? Did he left him alone? If answer to all these questions is yes then I don't know why but I felt my blood boil. I don't know the actual reason why that guy left him here alone and I know I'm overthinking this all but I can't freaking help it! 

Pushing those thoughts aside Lucas and I decided to meet at the same cafe which I mentioned him yesterday. He went to his apartment which was not so far from mine so I let him leave otherwise I knew he would've stayed and made me regret the decision of letting him staying. He sometimes acts annoying but I still love him. Anyways, after my usual morning routine I reached the cafe only to see Lucas sitting there. Shit, was I late?

"Hey Luce"

He looked at me and then smiled softly. "Oh hey Atlas finally you're here!" 

"I'm not late right?"

"Tch no dude you aren't. I also just came a few minutes ago" 

I breathed a sigh of relief "oh okay-" 

My attention went immediately to the cafe door because of the 'ring' sounded it made indication of a new customer. As soon as I looked up from Lucas my body froze after seeing... Ethan. There he was entering the cafe with his bag and other stuffs...alone. He didn't looked up at anyone as he straight up went to the empty booth near the window. 

"Dude what's wrong?" Lucas asked me in a curious tone but when I didn't answered he frowned and followed my gaze as he then noticed a.. guy and then smirked. "Is he that Ethan guy?" He asked forcing me to tear my gaze from him as I nodded in response. "He's cute" He said as I glared at him with a look of 'back off he's mine' making him raise his hand in mock surrender.

"Jeez don't get worked up I was just stating facts. He IS yours I get it" 

"Good for you" I mumbled in a low tone while I stared at him.

"Dude you'll come out as a creep if you kept staring at him like that" 

I winced at his words because of the reality in them. I know he was right but I can't help it. The way he looks so ethereal when he is just simply looking at his laptop. The way his fingers moves. Everything about him is so freaking gorgeous that I can't help but stare...

...las, Atlas!"  I snapped out of my thoughts as I saw Lucas waving his hand in front of my face and looked at him.

"oh.. uh y- yeah?" I asked receiving a sigh from him. 

"Dude you literally zoned out. Were you even listening to what I said?"

I blinked. Did he said something? When? Oh yeah I was zoned out-

"N- no sorry I didn't. What were you saying?" I asked again as he again sighed an ran a hair through his hair and then looked at me with a serious expression. Damn this isn't gonna turn out well..  

"I said to approach him you idiot. I can't bare to see my only friend zoning out while staring at a man he loves." 

I facepalmed. Does he think its that easy? 

"Jesus Lucas it isn't that easy as you think"

"I know its not easy but you have to gather up some courage dude. Till when you'll just sit back and stare at him... See Atlas" He leaned forwards in his chair and continued "Just like you gathered up some courage and asked for his name at the airport, gather up the same courage and just go talk to him. I promise he won't bite"  

I stared at him as he talked. He was right though. He won't bite... with that cute face of his? Its just about having a small chat. I can't ignore him I know and if I walked out of this cafe without talking to him and if he saw me then I'll have a bad impression which I surely don't want. I silently nodded as I looked at Lucas. 

"Yeah fine.. okay I- I'll go and talk to him"

"Yeah! That's like my boy. Its not like you have to confess him just now. There's still time for that" He said as I nodded at his words. 

"But wait... what if he pushed me away? Told me to leave him alone and... never talk to him again? He seems busy though and I don't wanna come out as nosy or anything." I asked as he sighed again and looked at me before answering. 

"If he did push you away then try again BUT after few days. And about never talking to him again then.. don't" As soon as he said that my heart dropped. Don't? What does he mean by Don't? 

"W- wait what do you mean by don't? You know I love him more than my life Lucas. You can't be serious-"

"But I am serious Atlas" He said cutting me off "See as your best friend, I don't want you to chase after a person who doesn't give a damn about you. His actions will hurt you and I don't want you to get hurt, that's it. You will find someone better if not him. Argue with the wall" He said as he crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. Jeez, didn't anyone told him how cute he looks while pouting or is it just me?

His words made me slightly emotional as I took a deep breath and said "Well you are right Luce. I probably shouldn't chase after a person who doesn't even care about me.. but-" 

He cuts me off by saying "I know its not gonna be easy to move on but I don't want you to keep holding onto a fake hope. That's it" With that he pouted again. 

I chuckled while admiring him. Ah god I love him so much! 

"You look so cute while pouting Luce. Do that often"

"yeah yeah" He grumbled "Well now are you going to talk to him or should I go myself and spill the tea to him?" 

I widened my eyes as I panicked. "No no I- I'm going" 

With that I stood up, took a deep breath and looked at Lucas for the last time as he nodded at me with a look of 'just go'. 

"I- I am going okay?" 

"Good luck my boy and don't stutter in front of him you idiot" He said as I nodded and looked over at where Ethan was sitting. He was still with his laptop and was writing down notes I guess? I took another deep breath as I made my way towards him slowly. I can do it! And besides what could go wrong right? I was just going to have a little chat with him and that's it. I won't pressurise him too much to talk to me. Yeah, let's do it! If not now then... maybe never. 

As soon as I reached at the booth he was sitting on, I felt my hands sweaty. He was too concentrated to even notice a man standing right in front of him. But, damn just how hard was I controlling myself from not touching his soft skin. 

After taking a deep breath I finally gathered some courage and spoke...

"...Hi Ethan"