Its You Or Nothing at all [Boy x Boy]

Chapter 5

(Atlas's pov) (Thursday, 20th July)

It was a rainy day today. Though the rain has stopped but the sky was still covered with dark clouds as I was walking to the top of the hill to enjoy the city view. I always go there to clear my mind after visiting my parents grave and telling them about my upcoming novel. I was finished writing it, which will now be going to get print and then publish. 

I was excited yet nervous both because I'm not 100% sure whether my fans will like my new work, though I have always been thankful to all the love they have showered me with since my debut. I always try to give my best in all the novels I write but I don't know whether they'll like it or not. People have different tastes, difference opinions and I don't have any problem with it. 

Within my own thoughts I didn't realised that I was now at the top of the hill. It was not that high so it took me hardly 5 minutes to reach up here. I breathed a sigh of relief as the breeze brushed against my skin, my hair. It felt good.. so good. Making my way a little ahead I looked around, there were only two people up here which was me and another guy who caught my attention. There was this guy looking a little too familiar to my liking even though his back was faced against me, I still couldn't shake off the feeling that I know him.. in fact I've seen him somewhere.

My anxiety got the best out of me as I noticed that guy standing too close to the edge. I got closer as my heart dropped after seeing.. Ethan? I panicked. I haven't seen him since that last conversation at the cafe. He told me that he was preparing for USMLE and as much as I know its result has been declared 3 days before. But why was he here? Fear got the best out of me as I noticed him stepping closer and closer, his eyes closed as I saw his tear strained face. 

Before he could step any more closer I did what was the best for.. me? I can't lose him.

"Ethan no!" I pulled him back towards me by his arm as he sobbed hard against my chest. Seeing him sob and clutching onto me was the most heartbreaking sight for me. I rubbed his back soothingly because maybe I knew what happened. Did he fail his exam? Was he ending his precious life without thinking about me? Oh well he doesn't know about my feelings but did I never crossed his mind, not even once before he thought of doing this?

I could practically see the passion he has for doctoring and I also know how it feels to go through failure.. to go through a heartbreak but hey we can always try again right? Its not like its the end of the world or anything right? 

I kept rubbing his back as he let out more sobs. My heart breaking more at each sob which left his mouth. "Its okay I'm here, everything will be alright" I whispered as I felt him practically slumping against me but did I mind? Hell no. It felt good having him leaning on me for both mental and physical support even if it was for a few minutes.

Soon his sobs died down but he was still snuggled up against my chest. I looked down at him noticing his eyes were closed as he clutched onto me more tightly, it was like he was seeking comfort and I'm glad I was the one providing it. Noticing it was the perfect time to talk about it, I softly called out his name. "Ethan, Look at me" I said as he slowly pulled away enough to look at me. I could still see the pain, the hurt, the helplessness lingering in his eyes which made my heart ache even more. Before I could say anything he cut me off with the words I never wanted him to say...

"Why am I such a loser Atlas?" He questioned while still holding onto me and looking up at me with those beautiful eyes which now held so much pain. Oh just how I wish I could take all his pain away and to make him smile like he deserves to...

"Don't say that Ethan"

"But its true. I failed again " He said as he let out a pained laugh. But wait what does he mean by.. again? This was his first attempt, wasn't it?