Its You Or Nothing at all [Boy x Boy]

Chapter 4

(On the day of the exam, 20th June 2024)

There were students chatting amongst themselves. doubts were shared but here Ethan was standing alone looking at everyone. With shaky hands he dialed Ryle's number and after three rings the call was received.

"Hey Eth! " said Ryle on the other line with a cheerful tone.

"H- hi" Ethan replied with a cracked tone.

"Wait eth you okay? You're at the exam centre right?" 

"y- yeah" 

"okay listen to me, don't panic I'm right here yeah? Take deep breaths" 

Ethan followed Ryle's words as he started taking deep breaths, his hand were slightly trembling. He was trying not to get panicked but this whole situation was overwhelming him. He was both scared yet nervous because he knew that today is the last day of him proving himself, his parents and Ryle that he HAS the potential to achieve his dreams, that he too can... reach success after so many failures. That he can... meet their expectations. 

But yet again he starts thinking about those "what if's" scenarios that 'what if he failed again?'   'what if he had to give up on his dream?' that 'what if he failed  to make his parents proud?'. He was looking down on himself and he knew it. He can't blame himself too because he had been trying, its just that his luck isn't with him. He had been sleep depriving himself because of his dream to become to doctor. He knows how much goddamn of a hard work it takes to make it come true, he also wonders just how many failures will it take more for him to reach his goal.

Soon the invigilators for the exams called all the students in as it was going to start.

"okay Eth don't panic, stay focused okay? and call me immediately after the exam ends. Got it?" 

"...yeah okay i- i will"

"Good, now just go in and slay it. I'm right there with you, not physically but mentally. Best of luck Eth" 

"t- thankyou ryle" 

With that the call ended as he took a deep breath and went inside the examination hall. There are total 12,000 students participating in each step but only 8000 pass and the other 4000 students fail and he has been a part of those 4000 students for the past five years. It sucks he know and its pathetic, he knows that too. But today he feels kind of confident, for the first time in his life. He feels that this time he CAN do it but again, he starts overthinking it. 

As he sat down at his seat which was in the last row according to his roll number, he can't help but actually feel like he's on top of everyone, that he has dominated everyone and became the successful person he wants to be but again, he starts to think that he's sitting at the LAST row. Its like no matter how hard he try to be positive, his mind always draws back to the negativity in every situation and this is what frustrates him, and maybe this is the situation for most of us right? 

"All the best" The person next to him said as he snapped out of his thoughts. 

"y- yeah same to you"

"Is this your 3rd attempt too?" The boy asked

"..no? why?"

"because its my 3rd attempt." the boy said as he smiled. 

It was his 3rd attempt? Ethan couldn't help but feel both sad and amused by the way he was smiling even after failing for three times!. He then realised that he wasn't the only one struggling, that he wasn't the only one going through failures. There were total 3999 students more with him who must've failed and the boy sitting next to him was also one of them. But the difference is just that some people take failure as a challenge to do even more good while some become like him... depressed and lifeless. But still no one can blame Ethan because facing failure repeatedly for the last five years also wasn't easy. 

Let's see where this last attempt takes Ethan. Will he pass this time? The answer to this question is blurred but we'll soon get to know what actually happened.