i love you, i'm sorry ³ [poetry] ✓

xl. i love you, i'm sorry. [ending]

i visit smiles of broken promises at the cemetery,

and i stare at the stars like they were always made of nothing

why don't i know that there's some hope left even in the blindest alley?

the rhythm isn't changing with the seasons, nothing's new for me

my head's collecting nightmares, think the vertigo is taking it's time,

but there is not much left that matters, just a thrown away cd

you turned cold because i was never enough for you, was i?

scene change, i see a wedding, everyone dances happily

and i make a toast to another lost friend internally

more and more guests leave until i'm the only one who's left

still slow dance songs are playing, they're an interlude of absence

my dad and i never talked much at all, now broken bonds are all we have

and i slowly think he lost them on the other ocean side

maybe it's time to say, ,,good riddance"

the wedding's now over and as expected, i'm all alone in the entrance

i guess it's all fun and games until the party ends

i open my eyes and i stare at the graveyard again

our souls are still connected though i never looked much like you

would be cool to try yellow, if i didn't know that everything turns blue

once we get older, what we used to love grows colder

is it my mission to forget you or to finally start over?

we were better of apart, but the thought of that keeps me from heeling

it's mid july but i keep getting this december feeling

colored just as grey as your sweater that i am still stealing

when we cut the wrong wire, our failed connection waved for anger

yet i know that, deep inside, i will always be your favorite stranger

there's too much silence between our words, it kinda feels like danger

i'm a satellite in exile, you're my well arranged dealbreaker

you keep the number thirteen so close to your heart

starring in cinemas of frozen tears while we keep drifting apart

before i tried optimism, we were noticeably less close to the stars

almost hitting moon and night, yet still in a poisonous garden

i don't want to be here when the world's gaze on you hardens

but i just know well enough we were expiring from the start

because your soul takes mine into a suffocate pretend boulevard

all of your threatbare solaces slowly deserve that heartbreak award

do you even know that you broke every summer for me?

the sun's shining happily while my soul lays in a fragmented alley

because like the withered roses, all your sorrys start to kill me

between everything that's see through, what's even still real?

you still pretend you're good at sunset solitudes? oh, please

every time you look up, it feels like a heartbreak car crash for me

we're moving in and out of pain

you run and run away until you start running out of space

straighten your pretty facade that you worthlessly extenuate

and you keep talking about ruining your own day?

we both dance blindly, but it's an étude written for somebody else than me

i try to imbue my own pessimism and i constantly fail

my hands shake and get papercuts by your apology wastes

because, nevermind, you just cannot communicate

your heart is a poisened arrow the devil himself made

and you'll wish me nothing more than death when the stars call your name

that's what you'll do until exhaustion floods every piece of me

so don't tell me you love me and don't tell me you're sorry

look at the lengh of this poem about you, is that not all i need to say?

xxx

the end of ilyis, already. after only a month, but well, school is draining every little poetry or motivation out of me.

well, i suppose an era is over. but i'll probably publish another poetry collection where i'll write poems once in a while.

have fun counting the easter eggs <3
i wrote this poem with every title of the poems in this collection, so it would have a nice little goodbye.

now, it's by far my longest poem with 620 words. it took a while though, so i would apprecciate some feedback!