i love you, i'm sorry ¹ [poetry] ✓

xxviii. shadows, echoes, reflections; what's still real?

i knew - lizzy mcalpine

how'd the world stop moving on my shoulder and i didn't notice?

how'd your eyes turn so much colder when i was only gone for like a minute?

i hope you've always been two-colored and i am not at fault for this

but let's be honest, i will always first blame myself before i think

change knocks at the door and it's watching, i'm scared of it

all of my sleep got lost under theft, and all of my thoughts are only spilled ink

aren't i kinda to blame because i was scared to let go?

in hindsight, it could have saved you

i recognize that you're fainting away but i'm begging you, please don't

i don't want my dearest nightmares to come back, to come true

you're just as cold as the sadness in my dreams

maybe that's why you've become so familiar to me

we don't ever talk like we used to and that is quite reasonable

but i fear that one day, it might feel unacceptable

fear that i will lose myself to all of this and helplessly attend therapy

in hopes that it will help, yet it will be the only validation for me

because, let's just for once be for real

no one who's not required to will ever really listen to me