Role Model

06: past memories

»»———- MICAH -———-««

I lean over my backpack and inhale the line I crushed behind school right before lunch

I wiped my nose and I heard a voice. "You are just like your father," A harsh tone spat. I froze and glared at the girl in front of me

She was one of Grayson's girls, Addy something and I tried my hardest to think how the hell would know who my father is

"Excuse you?" I glared grabbing my stuff and I stood up towering over her but she didn't budge with a pissed-off glare back at me

"I said exactly what I said, I didn't expect you to turn out like he did. I always hope you didn't," Emotion laced her tone like she was about to cry

In realization, my heart stopped. I grabbed her hand and before she tried to pull back, I rolled up her sleeve and stared at it

I stare at the cigarette bud burns and the letter 'H' branded on her palm. I let out a breath and stared at her, matching her emotion. "Hi, Starla."

When I was 2 there was this girl who my father so-called 'found' at the park and she would share my room with me until I got taken away from them

My dad kept her with him all day every day and the only time we spent time together was at night. I used to comfort her after hearing her painful screams and shouting every single day for years

My mother was too high to care that my dad had a little girl for his entertainment and I was always locked up in my room listening to old cd's my moms

Or trying some leftover drugs and cigars my parents gave me instead of toys

Turned out that my dad kidnapped and kept her for six years until I dragged her outside and told her to leave right after my dad branded her

I always lived in regret that I couldn't help her. That I couldn't be enough for my father to do that stuff to me instead of her. She didn't deserve it, no one does

We made up fake names for each other the first night she was curled into the corner of my floor. She came up with Rocky and I came up with Starla

The constant reminder of my younger years and how I turned out haunts me all day every day. I hate that I have to take something in my system every day to operate myself

Although I don't like it, I have to. But one thing I could never be is my dad

"How do you even do lacrosse being high all the time?" Her whispers concerned me and I got upset. "Stop worrying about me Starla, I should be worrying about you," I straighten my back

"Addison, call me Addison," She corrects and I nod. I started getting flashbacks of our time together and she wiped her eyes

"Can I hug you?" She asks and I scratch my head debating. She doesn't wait for me and grabs onto me. Without hesitating, I grab onto her back and hold on tight like we did every night on my mattress

"I never thought I'd see you again," I admit after I pulled back and she pulled her furry beanie down her head. "Me either, I want to thank you. You don't know how much you mean to me," Her voice in a whisper

I cringe, "Don't thank me. I just did something I should've done years before." She looks up confused, "Micha, you were just a child along with me. You went through things a little boy shouldn't have experienced."

I laugh, "But you were just a little girl younger than me who went through worse things than I did." She kept silent and then changed the sad topic

"I'm a figure skater," She grins and I let out a genuine laugh. "Actually?" She nods

Addison would always tell me stories about how she wanted to dance on ice and would slide around my room like she was on ice and would dance until I fell asleep

"Bronwyn swims, Grayson does everything, Clover does ballerina, and Juniper does gymnastics. So I decided to do something I always wanted to do and I love it. I feel free," She smiles

I smile at her and nod. "I'm glad you got to do what you always wanted to do." She hits her shoulder into mine, "Do you like lacrosse?"

I answer honestly. "I never really cared for sports, to be honest. My foster parents just wanted me to do something with my life so I did lacrosse and all different sports like Grayson but I just tended to do lacrosse better. Unfortunately, lacrosse just isn't a popular sport outside of high school."

Her eyes shot up, "You have foster parents?" I nod. "I have been in and out of the system until I was 14. Jean is my foster sister and I have two parents. What about you?"

"I'm staying with my dad and stepmother. She has like three kids who are off in college." She explains. Her biological mother was deep in her postpartum depression for years and was tired of having Addison so she dropped her off at the park

Right before my dad took her

"Does our pact still stand?" I joke trying to make conversation and she looks up at me through her thick lashes. "Do you want it to?" She asked

Our pact was that if we were ever to be separated and if we reunite one day we would never stay away from each other. It was basically a blood oath we took

"Wouldn't it seem weird?" She makes a face, "I don't care what my friends think. I love them but if they found out why, they would understand."

The bell rings and the sound of footsteps are everywhere. "You haven't told them?" I assumed and she raised her eyebrow. "You told your friends and sister?"

I shook my head, "I don't talk about anything that happened before I was put into the system. Even barley when I was in the system."

She pulls out a switchblade and slice her hand before passing it over to me. I took it and cut my hand and we shake on it. "This feels childish," I admit looking around and she laughs

"You are such a baby, I'm not forcing you to do this." I felt guilty and quickly rush out my words. "No it's just," I pause and she patiently waits

"I never really had this connection with someone before friendship wise you know? Especially with someone I shared a lot with." I try to explain and she grins

"Me either, I love my best friends truly. But it's the same thing like you said. I never had someone know what I went through and didn't have to explain it to."

We share a silent moment before I mention. "I have a girlfriend." She lets out a laugh, "Really?"

I squint, "Is that hard to imagine?" She shook her head 'no' still trying to hold in her laughter. "Who is she?" I try not to grimace speaking of her

"Her name is Octavia, she was at Rio for summer and she's coming to start school next week." She wiggles her eyebrows, "Why don't you look ecstatic."

I let out a sarcastic laugh and walk around her into the building towards the cafeteria and I heard her keeping up with me

"What's so bad about her?"

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