Do Your Best and Regret

Chapter 20

"Miss, Is there anything uncomfortable?"

I looked up from my book at Hannah's cautious words. I grinned, shrugging my shoulders lightly.

"No. Everything unfolds just by speaking, so it can't be uncomfortable."

I meant it. I was satisfied with every moment of the three days I spent at the Grand Duke's residence. Delicious meals, frequent snacks, a library full of books, and a cozy bed. Even in the midst of his busy schedule, the Grand Duke always spent every morning and evening with me. Every time he dressed up in nice clothes and escorted me to my door, I held his hand even though was shy.

"But you keep sighing."

"Huh?"

"Sigh every time you look at a page of a book, and sigh as you continue to drink tea like before."

‎"Me?"

I asked back. I had a serious expression on my face as if I didn't know.

"There's something you're really uncomfortable with, right? Are you uncomfortable with the bedding or slippers? Or maybe the dress feels uncomfortable? Snacks are served too often?

Hannah began reciting them one by one. The expression gradually darkened, I was afraid that if she continued like that, she would say that everything was inconvenient, so I quickly threw up my hand.

"No. It's not because of that."

"Then?"

Looking at Hannah's anxious face, I thought quickly. I happened to have the best excuse.

"I would like to ask you for a diary. I used to have a habit of keeping a diary, but I guess it's because I didn't keep it."

Half of it was true. I always kept a diary, so it felt awkward not to keep one.

"You should tell me earlier. Please wait a minute. I'll buy you a top-of-the-line diary."

Hannah's face brightened. I smiled and told her where the bookstore where I  bought the diary was.

I thought everything was resolved. But the moment I continued to sigh, I realized that I had some unresolved issues.

"I guess you have other things to do besides your diary?"

Hannah said with an anxious face. I eventually put down my book and straightened my body as was my habit.

"It's nothing special. It's because the day after tomorrow is the last day of the victory banquet."

"Yes. I knew that His Highness attended as a war hero. Why is that?"

"Just... I don't really like banquets."

Although it was a pretense, it was half true. It was difficult to always be alone and like banquets with lots of gossip. But this time, regardless of whether I liked or disliked the banquet, I hated going at all.

Everyone I had run away from was in the banquet hall. Father, Conrad, Jade, and even Leopold. Just thinking of the name made my heart ache. In an instant, the words they said to me seemed to ring in my ears.

"If you don't like it that much, it would be better if you didn't go."

Hannah hesitated. Even as she spoke, she looked at my eyes as if she knew it was impossible. I chuckled as I called out to Hannah. When Hannah ran over to me and I patted her head, she smiled brightly like a child.

"That's right. It would be better if I didn't go."

I always thought about this every time I went to a banquet. I don't want to go. But I couldn't say it out loud.