A Girl Named Drool And A Pack Of Kools.

-10

January 14 2020

When I woke up, I was so confused. Kass wasn't laying down with me and the house was quiet besides the fact I could hear Scrim working on a beat.

I walk down to his studio and sat down next to him,

"Where's Oddy and Kass?" I asked, "They went to go get food" Scrim said.

oh

"Why didn't they wake me up?' I asked, "Because we have to talk" He said, he never took his eyes off the screen of the computer.

"Okay,why?" I asked, "Because if your gonna stay with me and up under my roof, we gotta set some ground rules" He told me.

I felt my heart sink into my stomach, and I mean all the way in my stomach.

"Okay" I said softly, the Anxiety shook my whole voice and I didn't even get why I was so nervous.

"Are you using?" Scrim asked, and I basically blurred my words out. "What? No?" I said, and it was the biggest lie ever.

"Okay, well. Rule number one, let's not lie about Drugs, because that's serious" He said, "And I know first hand how hard stuff like that is, but I need you to trust me" Scrim said

"Are you sure you're the best person to give this ted talk?" I said, and Scrim finally turned away from the screen and paused the beat.

"Angel." He said, "Okay I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I said softly, and I didn't know if I was apologizing for my insensitive comment or for lying about the pills.

"How did you know?" I asked, "They were on the dresser when I went in your room" he said, "and how'd you know they were mine?" I asked.

"Your sisters name was on them"he said,

fucking rookie move.

"I'm sorry" I said softly, "but why do you of all people care?" I said softly, and Scrim raised his eyebrow at me.

He didn't say anything but clicked out of the beat, and scrolled on Spotify to IWTDINO and clicked on Meet.Mr NICEGUY and just handed me his headphones and walked out the room closing the door behind himself.

And I understood, I did. What he was tryna say, because I understood him. I was just like him.

And after awhile, He came back in the room and paused the song, "Do you get why I care? Because I don't want you to get that sprung out on drugs to where you don't feel like a person, to where everyone you know thinks you've fucking lost your mind" he said softly.

And I could tell he saw himself in me, I mean, I was him.

"Is there anything you need to tell me" Scrim asked, and I didn't know if it was a trick question or not..

"No, not really" I said softly,

"Is it just pills?" He asked me, and I got quiet "Yeah, just pills and weed I guess" I said softly and he nodded.

After awhile of me and him sitting in his studio, we heard the front door open and me and him both jumped up and walks out the studio.

Oddy was holding a bag of food, and kass had the tray of drinks,

"Don't drop it" Oddy said, "shut up I'm not gonna-" kass said and almost on que she dropped Ruby's drink which made me and Scrim start laughing.

"You Jinxed it, you clean it up" Scrim said which made me laugh, kass had to go home tommorow, which made me upset, but she'd be back for summer which was... Months away.

"Cuz, she's the one who dropped it tho" Oddy said pouting and placing the food on the counter.

"Yeah but your the adult" Scrim said in a sing-song voice, which made us chuckle.

Oddy handed me my food, and my drink as I walked away to go upstairs,

"Little girl don't get food all over that room" Scrim said and I nodded, walking into the bedroom, watching as jasper ran out my room and down the stairs which made me chuckle.

I placed my food down on my bed and the drink on the nightstand, turning on the TV.

I didn't want to eat, I just stared at my food until I placed it on my nightstand and felt the puke creep up my throat.

I sprinted to that bathroom like I was in a marathon, leaving the door open behind me as I threw up everything into that toliet. Which wasn't alot, so it just turned into dry heaving.

Which was terrible when your throat is extra fucking dry, I sat against the bathroom wall, because I still had the feeling like I had to throw up.

I got startled when I looked up and Ruby was just standing in the doorway holding my kitten,

"Holy shit-" I said softly, "This yours" he said handing me Jasper, "You okay?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"I guess" I said softly, "what you mean you guess?" he asked sitting down next to me, "I don't know" I said softly, "Yeah me either"he said which made us both chuckle.

I placed Jasper down so he could go run around, Me and Oddy sat there together in the silence,

"What's on your mind?" He asked me, "how do you do it?" I asked, "what do you mean?" He asked me, "Function when your on something?" I asked and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"It's pretty obvious your not sober" I told him, "your in this damn bathroom more then I am" I said which made him chuckle.

"Yeah but I'm working on it" he said, "yeah I know" I said, "whys that on your mind?" He asked me. "Cause, I was like.. off it for awhile, but when I left Nick's house I found one of my old stashes in one of my suitcases" I said

"So are you using right now?" He asked with a concerned face, I shrugged "No, but I lied to Scrim" I said

"About what?" Ruby asked, "it doesn't matter" I said, "Angel if you felt the need to lie about it then it is..." He said

"About it just being pills" i said, "what is it then? H?" He asked, "No, I don't even know where the fuck to find H" I said softly chuckling

"Good, stay that way"he said, "I've looked tho" I said, and Ruby full on turned so he could look at me.

"It's getting that bad?" He asked me, I shrugged. "no I just get curious, I mean I hear y'all's stories, but.." I say softly feeling the tears Stream down my face.

Ruby hugged me, and I just cried. And cried. For what felt like forever, just being in that moment and not knowing why I was crying.. because no normal kid looks for shit like that. Kids my age still play with fucking Barbies.

God i hate New Orleans.

Our moment was cut off by Scrim sticking his head in the bathroom, but I didn't notice until Ruby said something.

"Not now Scott" Oddy said, and I didn't even look up.

This week was only gonna get worse.

And worse.