Uncompromising (Age Gap, gxg)

Chapter 45

The drive home wasn't fun. Both Jashanna and Gracie were heartbroken and apologized multiple times while thinking they had contributed to us getting together in the first place, and then being miserable themselves because they had liked Zee a lot too. We all felt betrayed, and I didn't think that would change any time soon. I didn't cry. I wanted to, but I mostly just wanted to get home and just take a hot shower while forgetting everything.

My phone had been blowing up since we left the dorm, I think I had a dozen calls and texts from Zee before we even reached the car. I didn't want to deal with it, so I just turned my phone off for peace and quiet. I didn't want to hear any excuses or explanations. Maybe later, maybe when she came back for Christmas, but not now. And yes, as much as it might hurt, and as much as might be awkward, I would stick to my agreement and let her stay in the room I'd set up for her, as well as do the internship.

But I wasn't sure she'd want to do that anymore.

I had little doubt that Hollie would be angry once she found out, and I knew both Gracie and Jashanna were, so Zee might not want to be around that kind of atmosphere. But if she wanted to, then I'd keep my house open to her.

But not my heart.

That was closed.

The ride was so miserable that we never stopped for food, though I did pull over for Jashanna and I to have a bathroom break, because only Gracie had gone before we left. I stopped at the supermarket and got some stuff to make a simple meal of burgers and sides, and then headed the rest of the way home. I liked the idea of cooking on the grill tonight because it would let me be alone outside on the balcony while enjoying the view, and hopefully that would help soothe my soul, though I had a feeling that would take a lot more time.

"I'll take care of dinner," I told the girls when we got home. "Go rest for a bit." I knew they were tired, since we'd had such a long day in the car, with the emotions of the dorm episode piled on top.

"Are you sure?" Jashanna asked. "We could hang out with you if you like."

"Yeah, are you sure you want to be alone?" Gracie added nervously.

I nodded slowly, getting the stuff for dinner out. "Yeah. I think being alone is good right now. Besides, the little guys will keep me company." The little guys, Karma and Swiftie were already rubbing up against me, and I took the time to feed them when the girls went upstairs, though I knew they didn't want to. I gave each of the kittens some love, then started getting the dinner going after I poured a tumbler full of the whiskey and a couple ice cubes that I thankfully still had on hand after Harlow's visit.

A little later, the fries were in the air fryer, some mushrooms were sauteed and being kept warm, and I was out on the deck sitting next to the grill as the burgers sizzled on the grate. The first whiskey had been downed before I ever went outside, and the second was half gone, so I had a good buzz going considering I had been drinking on an empty stomach.

I stared at the phone, still off since before we left Tallahassee, and finally got the courage to start it up again. As expected, there were a ton of messages, over 70, from Zee. I didn't block her, but I muted the conversation and then ignored it. There were over a dozen missed calls too, all with voicemails left, and I just deleted them, as there was no way I could bear to hear her voice right now.

But just seeing the notifications triggered the long overdue tears, and I finally let out a sob that I was glad nobody was around to hear. Before long, I was ugly crying out on the deck, with rivulets of tears making their way over my cheeks, and my nose running while I let myself feel the hurt. I should have known. The signs were there from the beginning when she told me to call her daddy and Raquel insinuated that she was a player back home. She was just like Elliot, and I'd fallen for it again.