Uncompromising (Age Gap, gxg)

Chapter 46

According to everything I could find, Colton Young was a decent person. He was in his tenth season, and last year he'd signed a four year contract worth up to $52 million, so he was doing well for himself. He was a good looking guy too, from all the pictures I'd seen, had no worrisome posts, texts or articles, and even hosted a kid's camp every summer back home in California. He'd gone to UCLA, so it wasn't like he'd gone to any of my football rivals. He was divorced, some quicky marriage in college that ended before he was drafted into the National Football League and had no kids. Oh, and Quinn might have kept reminding me of the big penis he supposedly had after she confirmed the date that would be in almost three weeks. Hell, he was 6'6" and 270 pounds, so I guess everything on him would be big.

Honestly, if I was more into guys, I'd think he was a major catch. The problem was that Zee had reminded me just how amazing women were after way too many years spent away from them, and I didn't want to go back to men. Yes, I would go on a date with Colton, maybe even a second one, but that was about it. I'd have to make very sure that I didn't get into anything serious, because I was still figuring myself out, and that my own mental health and happiness was going to take priority before anything else.

But that date was weeks away, and in the meantime my life still needed to be lived. It was easy to throw myself back into work, making sure that each project was exactly where it needed to be before the end of the year and ignoring all the calls that kept coming in from Zee. I didn't even look at the texts, but I kept noticing the number going up whenever I replied to Harlow, who was still struggling with her fiancé. I guess we were both a mess.

Nobody said anything about my renewed scrutiny, but I was sure that some of them had noticed that I was paying more attention than normal to their reports. I hated it. The last thing I wanted to do was micromanage, because I knew that my employees were very good at what they were doing, but I needed the distraction.

I started doing a lot more with Gracie and Jashanna as well, which I'm sure annoyed them. They still had fun, but there is a big difference between hanging out with me while watching a new show instead of the two of them going upstairs and watching something snuggled up together. But they never complained once, because they knew what I was going through, and were happy to support me. They also had the good grace not to ask me if I'd spoken to Zee either, which helped. But they definitely bugged me a little about food, because I was having trouble having any kind of appetite, so I might have killed a few meals.

But night times were the worst. The first time I'd gone to bed, I'd opened my nightstand drawer to get out my Kindle to do a little reading, and it was nestled right next to the We-Vibe, and I broke down a little bit as I realized that I could have been using that with Zee on a night like that instead of just curling up miserably.

Nighttime also meant that I had no distractions, and my brain invariably drifted to Zee. I'd wanted it to work so badly. Nobody had ever made me as happy as she did, and not just in bed. Every time we went out on our lunch dates, it was exactly what I wanted, and seeing her interact with my daughters made me think that she'd be a perfect addition to the family.

And yet, I'd been wrong. All of the good things got me to look past the obvious issues that could arise in a relationship like this. Obviously, she was in college, and surrounded by gorgeous women that put me and my mom body to shame. Hell, even I couldn't help but notice that the blonde hanging on her had the kind of body that even a celibate monk would drool over.

Why on earth would she even look twice at me?

She was at an age and in a location when she should be exploring and having fun, not settling down and becoming a stepmother to three daughters while marrying a woman 15 years her senior. I should have never agreed with trying this in the first place. She needed someone young and fun that could do all the clubs and exciting stuff with her, not worry about their kids and running a company.