For you, death is a friend and love is my eternity

7

In this lifetime, I find myself in a world of sterile white walls and the relentless beeping of monitors. My body is frail and ravaged by illness, a terminal condition that has brought me to the edge of existence. The physical pain is a constant companion, a harsh reminder of my mortality. Yet, even amidst this suffering, I am filled with a profound sense of gratitude, for it is in this life of pain that I have found a love so enduring and true.

You, my beloved, are now a nurse in this hospital where I spend my final days. Your presence here is a gift beyond measure, a beacon of light in the darkness of my illness. You have tended to me with a tenderness that soothes my suffering, and your care has been a balm to my aching body and weary soul.

In the quiet moments between your duties, when the world outside fades into a distant murmur, we have shared secret smiles and whispered conversations. These stolen moments of intimacy have been my sanctuary, a reminder of the love that endures beyond the physical and the temporal. Our clandestine outings, though fleeting and shadowed by the constraints of my illness, have brought me a joy that transcends the pain I endure.

To be with you, even in these brief, stolen moments, has made this suffering bearable. I have experienced a happiness that outshines the darkness of my condition, a happiness that comes from being near you, from sharing in the love that has defined our countless lifetimes.

But now, as my time draws near, the greatest pain I face is not merely the illness but the knowledge of the impending end. It is the sight of you, my beloved, in your anguished efforts to save me. As the monitors beep in frantic distress and the room fills with the echoes of your cries and the harsh rhythm of CPR, my heart aches not just from the physical torment but from the anguish of seeing you suffer for my sake.

The most painful part of this final chapter is watching you, so desperate and heartbroken, trying to revive me. The tears that fall from your eyes, the tremor in your voice—these are the true sorrows of my departure. To see you in such pain, to know that my leaving causes you this anguish, is a burden that weighs heavily upon me.

I want you to know that your love has been my greatest solace, even as I face the end. The moments of joy we shared, the tenderness of your care, have made this suffering bearable. Though the end is near, and my physical form is failing, the love we have shared is a light that will continue to guide me as I move on.

As I prepare to leave this world, I hold onto the memory of your kindness, your love, and the profound connection we share. Though my life here may end in sorrow, the love we have known will endure beyond this existence. I carry with me the gratitude for every moment we have shared, every touch, every whispered word.

So, as I approach the final threshold, know that my love for you remains unwavering. The pain of leaving you is tempered by the joy of having had you in my life. And though this chapter ends in sorrow, I carry with me the hope that our love will find its way through the veil of time, to be reunited in the next life.

Until then, my dearest, I am forever grateful for the love we have shared. Your presence has been my solace, my strength, and my joy. As I move forward into the unknown, I do so with the warmth of your love in my heart, and the hope that our souls will find each other again, in whatever form or lifetime awaits.