For you, death is a friend and love is my eternity

8

In this lifetime, the love that has shaped me more than any other is the love of a mother. It's true, there's nothing that compares to it. The very first smile I ever saw, the first tender embrace, the first warmth of unconditional love—it all came from you, my beloved mother. You were the beacon of my early years, nurturing me, guiding me, and shaping me into who I would become.

You were my sanctuary, my comfort, and my guide. In your arms, I felt safe, cherished, and loved. Your care and devotion made me a better person, instilling in me values of kindness and compassion. You gave me everything, and in return, I offered my love and respect. But then, fate took a cruel turn.

The world can be harsh, and its judgments are often swift and unforgiving. When you were accused of murder, my world shook. It was as though the very foundation of my existence had been pulled from beneath me. I could not believe the allegations, not because I was blind to reality but because I knew you—knew your heart and soul.

I made it my mission to be by your side, to visit you every day, to remind you that despite the accusations and the darkness that had enveloped you, you were still loved. I wanted to be the anchor that held you steady amidst the storm. I hoped my presence would be a source of strength and solace, a reminder that love could still shine through even in the bleakest of times.

Yet, in the midst of this struggle, something happened. The love and care I offered were met with something I could not comprehend. You turned your back on me. The very person I had devoted my life to, who had been my first love and guiding star, seemed to distance yourself from me. The betrayal cut deep, leaving me reeling and heartbroken.

In that painful moment, I found myself facing a devastating truth. The love that had once been my greatest source of joy had become a double-edged sword. The very connection I cherished was now a source of profound betrayal. The pain of seeing you, my beloved mother, not only accused but also rejecting me, was a wound that went beyond the physical.

Left alone, abandoned by the one person who had given me everything, I felt a profound sense of betrayal not just from you but from myself as well. The love I had always believed in seemed to have turned against me. It was as if I, too, had betrayed myself, for how could I reconcile the love I felt with the betrayal I experienced?

This lifetime has been a paradox of profound love and deep betrayal. I was loved and cherished by you, my mother, but in the end, I faced the stark reality of your rejection and the accusations that surrounded you. The love that had once been my greatest strength became a source of torment, leaving me grappling with the duality of my experiences.

So now, as I sit here in the quiet of my own solitude, I reflect on the complexities of this life. The love of a mother is a gift unparalleled, but it is also a burden when it is coupled with betrayal. The journey of this lifetime has shown me that even the purest love can become entangled in the web of pain and disillusionment.

As I move forward, I carry with me the bittersweet memories of this life. The love I received, the betrayal I endured—it all forms a part of who I am. And while the pain of rejection still stings, I find solace in the hope that, in whatever comes next, I will find a way to reconcile these conflicting emotions.

In every lifetime, love shapes our experiences in ways both beautiful and challenging. And though this life has been marked by deep affection and profound sorrow, I trust that the essence of love will continue to guide me, even as I seek to heal and find peace amidst the trials of existence.