Remember My Dreams

9. Why is it all so unfair?

POV Bill

It was a long, painful drive back to our apartment after being turned away from the hospital. I sat in silence the entire way, staring out the window while my thoughts stormed wildly in my head. Elise remembered nothing. She didn't know me anymore. The weight of hopelessness pressed heavily on my chest.
When we got home, I threw my jacket on the floor and collapsed onto the couch, burying my hands in my hair. The reality of the situation was too much to bear. Elise, my Elise, had no idea who I was. The thought made me sick. I couldn't believe that I had lost her.
Tom sat down beside me and draped his arm over my shoulders. "I've lost her," I sobbed, my voice broken and filled with sorrow.
"Don't give up hope yet," Tom whispered softly beside me. "She needs time. This isn't the end."
But how could I hold on to hope when she didn't even want me around? How could I keep believing things would get better when her eyes looked at me without any recognition, without any love?
"Tom, I only made her more scared," I sighed. "She looked at me like I was a stranger, like I was someone who would hurt her."
"You have to understand that she's confused," Tom replied patiently. "This isn't your fault. She's been through a severe trauma. She needs time to heal."
I shook my head, desperate to believe his words but unable to ignore the fear in my heart. "What if she never comes back? What if she never remembers who I am? What if she never loves me again?"
Tom squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "Bill, we've faced setbacks before. We've always come back stronger. Elise is a fighter, just like you. She just needs time."
"But what if time isn't enough?" I asked, my voice breaking. "What if I've lost her forever?"
Tom was silent for a moment, searching for the right words. "It hurts, Bill. I get that. But love doesn't just disappear. Your love for Elise and her love for you is strong. That can overcome even the toughest obstacles."
I nodded slowly, Tom's words finding a small foothold in my chaotic thoughts. "I want to be there for her, Tom. I want to help her remember, but I don't know how."
"All you can do is be there when she needs you," Tom said gently. "And sometimes that means stepping back and giving her space to heal."
I took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to keep going. "I hate feeling powerless," I admitted. "I hate that there's nothing I can do to help her."
"You're doing more than you think," Tom reassured me. "You care about her, you love her, and you're willing to wait. That's already a huge sacrifice."
I wiped a tear from my cheek and looked at my brother gratefully. "Thank you, Tom. Thank you for always being there for me."
"We're here for each other, always," he said, a small smile playing on his lips. "And we'll get through this together."
I nodded, determined not to give up hope, despite the despair I felt. Elise was everything to me, and I would keep fighting, no matter how long it took. Because you don't just give up on true love, even in the darkest times.

The sound of my phone suddenly ringing broke the silence in the room. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the display and saw an unfamiliar number light up. With a mix of curiosity and hesitation, I picked up the phone and cautiously brought it to my ear. "Hello?" I asked carefully, my voice a whisper, as if I was afraid the sound of my own voice would shatter the fragile calm in the room.
"Bill, have you calmed down a bit?" I heard from the other end of the line. It was Dr. Sophie, her voice calm but piercing, as if she knew exactly how I felt, even without seeing me.
I put my phone on speaker so Tom could listen in. My hands trembled slightly as I set the device down, my gaze fixed on the small speaker at the top. "Why are you calling, Dr. Muller?" I spoke with a sigh, clearly frustrated by the entire situation. It felt like the ground was being pulled out from under me, like I had no control over what was happening with Elise.
I heard her sigh in response on the other end of the line, a sound that echoed my own frustration. It was clear that the relationship between us would never really be good, but at this moment, I couldn't bring myself to care. "Well, I wanted to inform you of something," she continued, her voice calm but purposeful. "I'm inviting Bas over to visit Elise tomorrow. I just had a conversation with him, and they have photos together in Madrid. It might help stimulate her memory."
"What?" I shouted. This couldn't be true, could it? Bas was allowed to visit her, and I wasn't? The anger and frustration boiled up inside me. I felt the urge to throw my phone to the ground, but Tom was quicker. He grabbed the device from my hand before I could do anything destructive.
"Hey Sophie, Tom here," he spoke calmly. "It's okay that Bas is going to see her tomorrow. Bill's just having a tough time right now." He took the speaker off, placed the phone to his ear, and signaled for me to sit quietly on the couch. "Just a moment," he said to the doctor as he walked out of the room.
I grabbed the pillow next to me and screamed into it with all my might. The frustration, the helplessness, the sense of loss—all of it poured out in that one scream. The pillow muffled my voice, but it didn't really make me feel better.
With my face buried in the pillow, I felt the tears start to well up. Everything seemed so hopeless. I had always believed that love could conquer anything, but now it felt like I would never get her back.