Remember My Dreams

13. The truth

I watched as Sophie hesitated, as if she wanted to say something but didn't quite dare. Her expression was serious and concerned. "Is there something you need to say?" I asked her, looking at her intently.
She looked at me and slowly nodded. With a sigh, she took my hand. "Elise, will you please promise me that you'll avoid Bill from Tokio Hotel?" Her words came as a surprise, and I frowned. "But why?" I asked, my voice tinged with mild astonishment.
Sophie swallowed and briefly avoided my gaze. Then she looked at me resolutely. "Bill Kaulitz has a bad influence on you," she finally declared.

I was perplexed by her comment. I knew Sophie had my best interests at heart, but this was completely unexpected. "What do you mean?" I asked, trying to understand exactly what she was getting at. Sophie sighed, her gaze turning inward as if she was carefully choosing her words.
"I know you knew him from before, but I feel that his presence does you more harm than good," Sophie explained. "He brings up memories that you might not want to remember. Besides, he seems to carry a lot of stress and sorrow, and that's the last thing you need in your situation."
I listened carefully to Sophie's words, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside me. On one hand, I understood her concern, but on the other, I felt a slight pang of defensiveness. After all, Bill was a part of my past, a missing puzzle piece in my memory, and the idea of avoiding him felt like avoiding a part of myself.

Sophie looked at me seriously, her eyes flickering with uncertainty. It was as if she was wrestling with herself, unsure of what she was about to say. "Elise," she began hesitantly, "I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but I'm going to anyway."
Curious, I leaned in a little closer, my heart beginning to beat faster. "What is it, Sophie?" I asked softly, my voice trembling slightly.
She took a deep breath, her grip on my hand tightening slightly. "The specialist and I suspect that your memory might not return," she said. "When we look at the results of your brain scan..."
"Wait, what?" I interrupted her, my eyes widening in shock. The words hit me like a hard blow. The idea that my memory could be gone for good had never really crossed my mind. Sophie gently placed her other hand on my arm to calm me.
"Elise, you know you can trust me, right?" she said softly, her voice full of concern and compassion.
Though I had a thousand questions to ask, I could see in her eyes that now wasn't the time to dig further into the memories I had lost. She had something important to say, something that was difficult for her to get out. I nodded and let her continue.
"A week before you were admitted to our hospital with memory loss, you had been admitted once before," she continued, her eyes locked on mine, searching for understanding.
"Yes, I know," I replied, with a hint of irritation in my voice. "You've told me that before."
Sophie kept looking at me seriously. She swallowed as if bracing herself for what she was about to say. "You were admitted because Bill Kaulitz encouraged you to take drugs, Elise."
"What?" I exclaimed, my voice full of disbelief and confusion. "That can't be right! I would never..."
"Elise," she interrupted me, her voice now softer but insistent. "The results don't lie. There's a man who cares deeply for you, and he brought you here. For certain reasons, he can't visit you in the hospital, but soon he'll be able to come back to you. With my guidance, I can bring you two back together, Elise. But please, don't let that Kaulitz near you anymore. He's destroying you."
The words hit like a bomb. It felt as if the ground beneath me had fallen away, and I lost my balance. I was momentarily speechless, my head spinning from the revelations. I had so hoped to regain my memory, for the puzzle pieces to fall back into place, and for everything to return to normal.
Sophie looked at me with concern. "I had so hoped that you would remember everything, Elise," she said, her voice full of regret and sympathy.
"And Bas," I asked, my voice trembling, afraid of the answer. "Can I trust Bas?"
Sophie shook her head, her eyes sad. "He's just going along with Bill," she said. "You'd be better off letting him go as well. I only want what's best for you, Elise."
I felt overwhelmed by the information, as if a heavy burden had been placed on my shoulders. I buried my face in my hands, tears pricking my eyes. How much more could I endure before I could return to a normal life? The people around me, whom I thought I could trust, suddenly seemed full of secrets and lies. The future felt more uncertain than ever, and the only constant was Sophie's care, though even that now felt fragile.