No idea what to call this story (A light in this dark world)

Chapter 30

Three or four times practicing and then we start filming. Ash puts all of his focus into filming. It's even more stressful to dance next to Halia than next to Ash :

"Halia : We have to post it like you posted Siren ! And get notice by J Blaz !!
Ash : You're never gonna do better than our duo hahahahahahahah!!
Me : I think our vibe matches better than mine with yours.
Ash : It hurts ! Be careful, if you wanna go in my crew. I told everyone you'll have to pass an audition.
Me : Hey, tell me Ash, what happened with Isa ?

Halia looks at me like I commited a murder and Ash's face totally changes into dark features.

Me : Sorry, did I say something wro-
Ash : You were there ? You where there the day Isa talked about me ?

I wasn't here. I didn't even know Isa and Mao were going training together.

Me : No.
Ash (coldly) : Well, you can just ask Isa, Soyoung or Asha to explain you. They know everything about why we argued..
Me : But I just wanted to understand why she left..?
Ash : Just mind your own business. Please."

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

The mood is broken.. Kinda my fault (again).. Why does he get angry that way ?? He could just explain to me. It's not like I had anything to do with those stories..

*

Ash sends me a message :

"Ash : Hey, your audition is on april the 18th, i mean, it's next week.
Ash : also sorry about today :(
Me : heyy okay, any choreo i gotta learn for it ¿ (dw it's not my life, I shouldn't be so curious lol)
Ash : Anything kpop or studio and not less than 1 minute.
Me : yeah :)
Ash : see ya, SLEEP AND EAT WELL IDIOT
Me : ofc ofc, same, dumbash"

Eating well. That concept is so blur to me. I don't what means 'eating well'. Is it eating what you want, or eating healthy ? Or eating to be satiated ? They're all different. I eat with disgust, hoping I will not have to throw up everything I ate right after.

What will I perform for the audition..?

Mh.

I could do Dangerous Woman... Or LIT !! Oh my god LIT for sure. I learnt this choreo like one week ago and I don't master it AT ALL. I mean, I kinda have the moves, but there's no attitude and way too much focus.

Mh.

I have to work on it right now. And all the time, until the 18th.

*

This choreo is EXHAUSTING rah. I'm still not able to do it properly. I bug at some times because there are too many footsteps or 'hard' moves in a short amoung of time.

Saturday

7:00 AM

I decide to go practicing. It's not 3 AM. But let's not wake up Bo. Oversized jogging with a crop-top, a bottle of water and nothing else. It's warmer than it's supposed, in this month of april.

7:30

Yesterday, Bo told me she found a boyfriend. A guy her age in our school. That's funny, I feel like everyone around me has love experiences. When I was younger, I was living in the hope of having a boyfriend. Thinking that a guy could resolve all of my problems and make me the happiest girl in the world. Help. Well today, I am quite far from those thoughts. First of all, I find myself attracted by women sometimes. Funny because I was telling everybody that, me, I was straight (because EVERYONE thought i was bi or gay), I really thought it would be impossible when I was younger (younger is like two years ago). And clearly, I don't think having a boyfriend would be the best thing that could happen to me. Absolutely not. I think it would just make me anxious all the time haha.

I put a note yesterday. Saying I'm confused about some people's behaviours. It was related to Ash yes. I mean, first, he becomes extremely cold just when i wanna have a bit of context. And then by messages he comes back tl a friendly attitude, saying he's sorry...

Asha answered ??

"Asha : if it's about Ash, cause I know you were with him yesterday, I know what happened"

Hum. Asha scares me. She doesn't just look shy, she looks scary. I decide to answer. I can't leave her on read now :

"Me : hey. well yeah it's about Ash and Isa. I'm not sure I wanna know, I respect the fact that he wanna keeps it secret yk.
Asha : dw, if im telling you, it's cause ik he's okay with it.

Mhhhhh, I don't know if I can trust her. But.. Either way, if she tells me, it's written that she said 'Ash is okay with it'.

Me : well.. if you say so 🤷‍♀️"

I see she's starting to write. I'm scared, it's kinda long.........

"Asha : Sooooooo as you know, the problem is Isa telling stuff to Mao, about Ash. you gotta know Isa and Ash are friends for like a good 10 years. They share everything since they are young. I mean, not anymore lmao. Isa knows all of Ash's secrets, and same in the other way. Wanna know what Isa told to Mao ?
Me : Yeah, that's what you were about ti tell me.
Asha : It started with the fact that Ash knows he's appreciated by girls. Like, really appreciated and popular. ofc, there's no other guy who dances to kpop in the city. I mean, there's Nash but i think you get it. so Ash knows it, and he likes it. secondly, Ash had many girlfriends by the past and well he cheated on all of them. ALL of them.

Hell wtf. That friendly guy is a fuckboy ?? Lol.

Me : tffff. kinda shocked buuuut I dont really care lmao
Asha : Well after, Ash learnt Isa told that to Mao and he was extreeeemely upset and mad. To make it short, they argued, he told her she was hypocritical and mean, and she left.
Me : damn.
Asha : yo welcome
Me : thanks for telling me. see you asha :)
Asha : yeah, see ya"

I forgot that Ash was coming here on saturdays too !!

"Ash : Leniii you seem surprised to see me here on a saturday ?
Me : Heyyy nope, I just forgot for a moment.
Ash : What were you thinking about ?
Me : Tell me. You were really okay with Asha telling me everything about you and Isa's stuff ?
Ash : What ??"

-(^-^)- : iiiiiii doooooooon't knoooooooooow whaaaaaaaaaaat iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm doing riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight nooooooooooooooooooooooooow
what do you think bout Ash lol ??