Sins of the Flesh

Chapter 13 Cole

Monday: I burst through the front door at my mother's house. "Cole? Honey?" my mom calls. I hear her close the front door, and she finds me in the hallway, face in my hands, sobbing. "Cole? What's the matter?" I wrap my arms around her neck and just sob into her shoulder.

After a few moments, she pulls me back. "Let's go into the kitchen and have a talk." She leads me to the small dining set and sits me down. After a couple of minutes, she places a cup of hot cocoa in front of me. "Ok, now what's got you all upset, honey?"

"Someone hurt me," I mumble. "Hurt you, how sweetie?" she asks. "Broke my heart," I say, my voice breaking, tears welling in my eyes. "Oh my, the first heartbreak," She says. I look at her. How does she know it's my first? "Mom, I have to tell you something else," I say. She needs to know the truth about me for any of this to make sense. I take a deep breath. "Mom, I'm gay." She sits there quietly, waiting for me to say something else.

"Mom?" I ask. "Was that what you had to tell me, sweetie?" she asks. I quirk my brow. "Yes?" She chuckles. "Oh honey, I have known that for a long time now. So it was a boy that hurt you?" I'm stunned. "Wait, what? What do you mean you knew?" I ask, a little annoyed. "When you were 11, you used to follow that Masterson boy everywhere and the way you looked at him." she smiles at me." I told your father I said William I think Cole might be gay. He says, well, whatever he is Emma he's ours, and we will love him no matter what" my mouth is agape.

I didn't even know I was gay when I was 11! After all these years of hiding it from her just to find out, I never had to. A mixture of relief and regret flow through me, and I get up and hug her tightly. "I love you, Mom," she pats me. "I love you too, Cole, no matter what."

"Okay, now that that's out of the way, this boy," she says. "Man, mom, boy, make me feel weird." I cringe. "So yes, I am in love with him, and he said some things that really hurt me. So, I punched him," I say, wincing. "A broken heart is hard to deal with. Come with me into the living room. I want to show you something" She pats my knee and gets up.

I sit on the couch, and she sits next to me, holding my father's flannel and a photo album. "I met your father when I was 8. He was ten and your uncle's best friend. Boy, how he hated me back then. You see, I always wanted to tag along, and my mother made John John take me with them all the time. William would give me dirty looks, scare me with bugs, and put sticks in my hair." She giggles at the memory, showing me a picture as she explains.

"When I was a freshman in high school, things had changed a little. We both had grown up. He was on the football team with John John. I was into volleyball. About the time the freshman dance came around, Toby Wilder asked me out. Of course, I said yes. He was a popular senior, and I felt good getting attention like that from an older boy," she wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I cringe and laugh. "I went to the dance, and well, William showed up, grabbed me by the arm, and dragged me into the hallway. He said, "Emma, what are you doing here with Toby? I said I like him, William Abbot; just what are you gonna do about it." she smiles at the memory. "Well, William kissed me. Of all the things I thought he might do, that kiss wasn't it. It was my very first kiss, you know," She said, turning to me.

"When he stopped kissing me, I stomped on his foot. He shrieked what you go and do that for Emma? He asked me. Because you stole my first kiss, William Abbot; the truth is, I had a huge crush on William, but I couldn't tell him that," she winks at me. "Anyways, from that day on, we were inseparable until..." She trails off, sniffing my dad's shirt.

"The point I'm making here is a broken heart isn't something that can be fixed. When you love someone enough that they can break your heart, that love doesn't just go away. It may change, but it doesn't go away. When William passed away, he broke my heart. He took away my very best friend." She sniffles. "That kind of hurt takes its own healing path, and you just have to let it." She sighs heavily and pats my leg