Chapter 56: Uncertain Determinations: a reCollection

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I'm in my mind, but it feels different. Having that contrast side-by-side proved to highlight it even more.

When I opened the door and let them in, I let something else in as well...

Now that they're gone, I don't feel it anymore.

Is it that a Listener had attached themselves to one of them or am I being betrayed all along?

Zoses, Rosalia, Steel, Me.

I don't know who to mistrust. What exact reason to mistrust?

What angle do I look at this age-old problem? What's been done before? Oral History has proven to be a failure, where can I turn?

Can you imagine?

to not trust your mind?

What it feels like

to not trust your mind?

Your reality?

I do.

It's scary. I'm scared. I'm terrified.

But everyone needs me.

I alone!

Can ameliorate,

Can right things.

I am about to implode!

Adam whined.

"It's okay, boy, I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row," I whispered, patted his head and reassured him [read: myself]. My thoughts drifted to Lia and Bella, a certain doubt in my heart.

Each history tells me Furors and Vrykolakas are players for the other team yet, I have both of them on my team, in my inner circle. Is this reverse psychology to get them away from me or near to me?

I wanted the Maculae Glasses to show me who I could trust, but it and the Magister's Crux have disappeared. Have they fallen into enemy hands? I was also going to use the glasses to find the Guards, but that flopped too.


Alright, ducks, get in a column:


I TRUST (whether intentionally or not)

1.Myself, my soul and my consciousness
2.The Encyclopaedia
3.The Leaf from the Tree of Life/Ancestor Kallasi
4.Marco and the Boys
5.Steel
6.Enzo and Emilio
7.Nawsbog
8.Adam's mind-scape
9.Zoses' Travel Logs
10.Gio-Vamped Sanctuary space
11.Kaito
12.Visions I was already on the path of...

I DON'T TRUST (whether intentionally or not)

1.Lia
2.Zoses
3.Bella
4.Adam's mind
5.Visions I wasn't already on the path of...
6.My mind
7.Kerbe

I CAN'T TRUST (whether intentionally or not)

1.Earth
2.Oral History
3.The Secrecy Order

I don't know how to win when my enemies are in the dark and I'm in the light!

I need to shed light on the situation. I need to find Phoebus.

And! There is what Kallasi said:

"When you long for your soul to sigh, look for relief in the love of El Roi...".

But I don't know Their words... the Good Book? Where do I find that? It certainly can't be the ones humans circulate, those have been translated and back!

The Encyclopaedia may have the answer, but I can't take it out of the elusive-scape. The realm that changes location every so often... the Caldera Canyon.

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