Seetha Kalyanam Vaibohame

Empowering each other

It wasn't anyone's fault. It was a time and age when men slowly started to realized that women had a life outside the kitchen. Mind you, until then women's life began in the kitchen and ended in the kitchen. Their lives revolved around keeping their husband, children and in-laws happy. Even though Arun's father was an exception, Parvathy still spent most of her life in the kitchen. She barely had a voice until her father in law and mother in law ruled the house.

It was only after her children grew up that Parvathy was able to step out of her house. So it was not a surprise that Arun wanted his wife and children to be independent. He encouraged them to try new things and cultivate new interests. The last thing he wanted from them was for them to stay home and serve him, especially Seetha.

Unlike him, Seetha was an extrovert. So, very soon, she had made friends with almost everyone in the neighborhood. Once she started music classes, she came in contact with more people. It was only logical. It was also the beginning of a time when men, some men, some good men, realized that women's wings had been nipped for a long, long time and it was okay for them to fly.

For some of you who felt Seetha should be home with Arun fail to realize that it was this guilt that was keeping women dependent but if not for men like Arun, husband and wife's relationship would not have evolved to be equal partners. Remember, now both men and women earn equally, share financial responsibilities equally, household responsibilities equally and even childcare equally. Most young dad's these days are hands on. The first steps were taken by men like Arun.

It wasn't only his wife that he saw as his equal. He never distinguished between his children based on their gender either. He encouraged them to dream big. He encouraged them to try new things so when Shivu wanted to try out for the under 16 cricket team, he encouraged him. Even if it was a little bit of a strain, he bought the necessary equipments for practice. Seetha too was in a position to save the money she was making. It wasn't a lot monetarily but she felt important. She felt that she could contribute too. She was saving her money and it was building up.

Both Arun and Seetha never laughed at any dream their children had, however absurd it might sound so when Sowmy came home one day saying she wanted to become an actress, although they were taken by surprise, they never discouraged her. Arun smiled and said, "Ennoda azhagu rani ku enna korachal? Aana adhukku nee Delhi la irukkara National school of Drama la poi paduchuttu acting pannalaam." (My darling is so beautiful. You can join National School of Drama to become a good one). Although Sowmy said that for a couple of years, soon she changed her mind and Delhi was too far away and she did not want to leave her Appa.

One evening, as Arun was staring at the idiot box, Seetha walked up to him. She sat beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. The kids were all out of the house so they got a private moment. Seetha said, "Unga kitta onnu kekattuma?" (shall I ask you something?" ) Arun gently stroke her cheeks and said, "Hmmm..." Seetha said, "Naan onnu gavanichen. Neengal naan paatu solli kudukkanum nu enakku nu oru edam panni kuduthel. Kozhandaigal enna panna aasa pattalum, ungalaala mudinjadhu pannarel aana ungalukku enna venum nu yosikaliye?" (I noticed something. You encouraged me to teach music. You also support the kids to do what they want but never thought about your interest?)

Arun smiled and Seetha and kissed her forehead, "Neenga thaane maa ennoda ulagam. Neenga ellarum sandhoshama irundha adhuve enakku porum." (You are my world. As long as you are all happy, I am happy) Seetha frowned at him, "Aana enakku adhu poraadhu. Ungallukkunnu edhavudhu aasai irukkum. Adhu ennadhu? Indha TV ku munnadi ukkandhu anaandhu paakardhu illai nu enakku theriyum. Neenga indha TV kooda gavanikkardhillai nu enakku theriyum." (But that's not enough for me. I am sure you have a wish of your own. What is that? I know that you don't want to be sitting in front of this TV. You are not even focusing on it.) She then patted his stomach saying, "Ukkandhu ukkandhu unga thoppai thaan valarardhu." (Your stomach is only growing every day.)

Arun looked at her shocked and said, "Mundha nethakki rathiri thaan ennoda thoppa azhaga irukku nu sonniye maa. Ippo ippidi sollare?" (It was just day before yesterday night that you said that my tummy was cute. What happened now?) Seetha glared, "Idhu vera adhu vera." (Well this is different) Arun chuckled, "Seri ippo enna pannanum nu sollu." (What should I do now) Seetha smiled. She pinched his cheeks fondly and said, "Adhu naan solla maaten. Neengale yosingo. Ungalukku romba pidicha endha vishayatha moota katti vachirukkel? Ippo naan poi rathrikku chappathiyum daal um pannaren. Kozhandhaigal pasiyoda varuva. Neengal ukkandhu yosichu paarungo" (I won't tell you that. You think about which dream of yours have you hidden. Now let me go and make dinner before the kids return. You sit and think) and she walked to the kitchen leaving Arun lost in thoughts.

After a few minutes, he got up and went to the bedroom. He opened the larger Godrej beero. He reached up to the top shelf. At first he did not find it. Then, suddenly, his face lit up when he felt it. He smiled and slowly grabbed it and pulled it out. He dusted it and slowly flipped through the pages. He smiled in fond memory of Ramu and Somu, his comic characters that he sketched. There were pages of little stories based on there characters that used to get published in the Sunday editions of The Indian Express and on the bottom of every page, was drawn his pen name AK.

Then he reached back again to the top shelf of the beero to pull yet another favourite item of his, the badminton bat. He had had dreams. Big dreams. Dreams that he had to bury on the top most shelf of the old Godrej beero to be forgotten until now.

Brinda Subramanian