Journal Entry #146

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In The Heat Of The Moment

How does a broken man make love to such a whole woman?

Though whole you are not.

And so I do not ask the questions both our souls desperately need answers to.

Most days all I have is my voice

Tonight...my larnyx is a liquid no container will hold

I am not sure where I fit in....but I want it to be your body so badly.

May I enter you? May I feel your everything, deeply?

I think God gave you hair...so I would have someplace to plant my palms

Your "locs" are intentional metaphor.

May I hold you?

Tightly enough you're reminded of the grip that once belonged to a man you now hate

But still casts the definition of so many traits you love in a men, no matter?

The parts of your mother's voice you can't escape with distance?

Peach cobbler, and the first boy you loved, before he became a hollow heartbreak,

Then a stranger, then an aimless wisp of vapor?

What does your love look like with the lights on?

Can you trust me enough to dangle the light closely enough your eyes to become translucent?

Will you open the windows of your soul, and let me slow dance with your spirit til' we fall asleep to the music

Of our bodies crashing into one another, like the tide-kissed shoreline?

Are we moving too quickly?

Has any love like this ever moved slowly?

Are you trustworthy?

Are any of these questions important?

I have to know....in the morning....

If I was just another unmended thing for you to enjoy

My heart has been picked apart

My tongue has been made museum before

The space between my teeth:

A revolving door, for anything to enter and exit just as quickly as it came,

And you have, ...About 8 times now.

If we love like this again, but never end up repaired.

If I hold your broken till the eve of your dying breath....

Is that not the sweetest magic?

What is magic, but targeted deception?

Are our bodies...burning one another in the darkness...

Not an earnest pledge?

Our lives...limb to limb, breast to breast, connected not a turning point?

My final utterance...of your name....not the most prestigious promise? 

I will fear no man or malice

Should manhood separate us two:

I am the blood and the brick

The wolf, and the lamb

The crime, and the sanctuary

A time to keep

And the time to throw away

A time to tear

And a time to mend

A time to be silent...

And a time to speak.

A time to love

And a time to hate.

A time for war

...And a time for peace.

The weapon

And it's halt

The sinner

And the salvation

I am...my own

And I am........

...all yours.

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