march ⁴ [poetry]

iv. funeral of the ghosts in my mind

like it tends to do - lizzy mcalpine
“would i actively avoide you? would it feel like it did when we had nothing to loose? or if everything had changed?”

used to do things the right way
now, i think i forgot how to
running out of metaphors
followed by wrong choice of words

didn't think a spelling mistake
could ever really get to me
but i misunderstood your name
and now writing it down hurts
at least i learned to do it right
but what's the point in going vain?
apparently, you think it's fine,
because you went and left me afraid

i don't care whatever my heart explains
tend to look at things the negative way

because i really do think a lot, and
thinking gets bad if it's done too much

i can't take anything the way it comes
chaos, storm wind, everything at once
i'll take it all as a sign, it's almost fun
and i know that i'm young and dumb
but thinking's getting worse with age
and maybe someday, i'll just go numb
who even cares if i forget my own name?

i might feel more bad if i look at the sun
cause the yellow makes me feel ashamed
every paint in my tool box is gone
my favorite color got mixed up with grey

everything comes and goes and runs
i can't stop it, but i know who to blame
always myself on the tip of my tongue
then i go and say the name of someone
who has nothing to do with the reason

a stranger can not tame my demons
have to do it myself but i'm fearing
that if i go to far, i'll be stuck with them
which, then, will scare me off again
it tends to take a while 'til a lifeline ends