No Teachings in These Readings

Who We Talking About?

Mornings tend to be beautiful with a birds song... The silence is too quiet and it's as if everything is standing still and breathing. A cup of coffee to fill my senses and to shake the disarray dance and music to satisfy the gorgeous uncontrolled mind of mine.....

Only when we leave this silence of our home and tranquility do we remember how loud everything is. Along the night sky our memories have been painted into stars. It can remain dark like the darkest corners we push ourselves into or the vibrant shade of earths life and light just may flash upon us. While their are those that are dreaming I remain restless and feel unwanted beating myself up day after day wearing myself down.

My stomach remains empty while my head becomes full of invincible stress. In my own company I do make myself laugh and sometimes it feels like a step forward but what if loving yourself always seemed so unattainable?

Your always wanting someone to love you first. I remember I went for what felt like days which was actually months without looking in the mirror.  Never even caught my own eye. I was bullied into being what everyone thought I should be or thinking who I want to be. One day I just looked in the mirror to see this skinny white dude who could barely remember what day it was or who he was. I didn't even feel like a man anymore... When I was with you infectious and poison your words were. Even to this day she still tries to get a hold of me to act like every piece of the puzzle is together just to kill me all over again.....

In your life you will always be clueless lost a long time ago your heart to be a decent being. Maybe their is no heaven or hell but I do wait patiently for your judgement. You won't be able to manipulate your way into whatever after we pass as souls.

We all think we know or believe in something in the afterlife but truly we would only know if we were in eternal sleep. Maybe free to roam or punished to walk alone. I don't care what gives your life purpose in the sense that you do truly what keeps your heart beating. I may not approve but showing support is better than acting like I have a gown of black and a gavel of wood binder with decisions. Righteous..... It's all to yourself and for what purpose? You preach of kindness to the masses but act distastefully without the sheep my wolf.

Fuck a stranger who lust after your lips you are brave enough to feel beautiful in your home in a thong or something of lace that fits too well and becomes seductive and intoxicating for your soul. It's called being free it bothers you are a man? You look gorgeous stunning dear Lord hell id even hold your hand. Doesn't feel right who told you that? Your embarrassed by the same generation who wouldn't let a black man or woman use "the white fountain" or the closeted man who secretly deep down wishes he could be that free or have a taste of what makes your soul your soul. Those be the men that say they love you but it benefits into nothing but of lust and no caution greed.

Yes of course I've seen a man as beautiful as he can be. Free absolutley from the torment of being told to be afraid to be yourself by a world telling you to be yourself. Heels a dress your nails that gorgeous smell. Id take that guy or girl out with that true heart that's true to theirselves and their image rather than someone lying to themselves to overcome who people think you should be. I've always thought it was super powerful. And women I don't think women be realizing how just jealous as fuck of how good they look lol. Just saying. I respect women to the highest degree. No matter how different men may seem or how delicate that's just acting.... Even in years together trust and all else can fall in just a moment. Toxic we are thinking with our dick using women then complaining about how we get no girls or guys whatever dude lol. Appreciate her cook her breakfast cook in general lazy fuck. Kiss those perfections and imperfections... Take your time with her.... Always. She's worth it. Be supportive open up what gonna happen your dick can't get any smaller lol. Get up off your ass clean dance with her show her that not every guy is the same.... You also gotta realize that not every lady is the same..... I'm gay shut up Jesus. I never had that friendship with a woman that wasn't totally based on the idea that we were going to lay naked together or one or the other was interested at a point in time.

Do my nails can I try that on Its never really affected me. I'll do your nails or this or that but for real I'm bad at it lol....show me a show or a song or movie you love that everyone thinks is senseless and stupid but it holds a special place next to you. A good fucking friend like that.... That's what I want. I'm not a salesman wishing to sell your every desire and secret. That shit? Dirty.

Being open minded has never been hard getting people to see or appreciate that is where I'm stuck pondering in the rain.