No Teachings in These Readings

Lonnie's Basement

Usually most of us have a place in youth that made everything simpler and we almost took it for granted.... Something as simple as playing Bandicoot on PS2. Youth isn't heaven for sure but in Lonnie's Basement I want to relive so deeply.

Almost like a club every weekend. Cigarettes and their trails swimming in the air music that still echoes in my solitude. Everyone during was together never a frown or lonely face we all belonged.

When the booze really kicked in and they lost themselves into the night Johnny Cash would sing sorrows away and soften scales. Rock to me has always felt like neon lights and foggy walkways.  I always felt so warm I couldn't tell you how much time I spent there but a definition would be countless.

One day you just wake up and it's a memory. In general people get busy in the betterment of themselves to fill in nicely in society and to make a living for themselves or their family. So communication certainly almost crashed to exist... I'm not sure exactly what happened it's been so long but people tend to smile the most and hide their darkest secrets when they can draw shades safely in their life.

One day we find out Nana has cancer... Every I'll will feeling I tormented myself with I let go. We started to visit her and at first nothing felt foreign. No matter what they said my Dad blamed himself. Hugs and conversations were fragile because she was so.

Nana did love this old cologne though and she use to say are we going on a date Logan? Of course your a fox.

It's fucking pitiful we are taught to smile when the knife of life is so painful. Over time her face become bones her mind heavy and heart close to dust. I would leave school early to go see her and weekends I would go see her we all would. I guess some of us thinking that we had more time.... It was foggy for me the night she passed and her hand was held to something else in this life. We all come together in mourning it almost felt normal...... Like dejavu or something who knows. In everyone's awkwardness we embraced condolences and each other.

When I ever came over she would make me mad and cheese and sometimes Frito pie.... Wherever you may linger Nana I love you.

My Dad took it the hardest... He blamed himself and became lost... One of the first scars he wrote with steel was Mom. For the longest time self loathing was his purgatory. Through days he was so doped up he couldn't remember his name or who he was anymore or he would pass out in the chair so groggy from meds subscribed to him. The last time we ever played games we played 2k14. He may not remember but that was my Dad for so long he had been gone for so long I embraced it lovingly. He's a goddamn hero for everything he has overcame to become a father a husband and a friend. The sick shit his mind was twisting and eventually overcame a legend forever my Dad.