*MAY CONTAIN HEAVY SPOILERS*
Silly little place to dump my silly little brainrots for BF ^__^
may not be coherent or grammatically correct. will not be writing actual short stories here.
cover art by me :3 ask if u wanna use
just some headcanons i made for fun of ideas for a female version of ash :> these are all headcanons i made because i feel like ash being female would directly affect these factors of his character, but people who write fem!ash don't take them into account
just so you know, a couple of these may be a little upsetting but they will be tw'd appropriately ^__^
btw, i think her name would be Jade Aslan Callenreese since Aslan is used as a gender neutral middle name as well as a first name. i think the name she'd be known as would be Bobby Jay. since her male counterpart is named after a lynx, i thought it'd be nice to have her name changed to be after bobcats instead of lynxes because a) the name "jay lynx" doesn't flow as well as "ash lynx" and b) bobcats and lynxes are both wild cats under the genus Lynx. pretty neat :D
just thought i'd mention that first so no one gets confused by me calling her jay instead of something like "ash" or "ashe"
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alr lets get started !
1.) TW: forced sterilization, past CSA
ok starting off with the most potentially triggering one but this is the worst it'll get i promise. anywho i havent seen anyone mention or consider this when writing her in fics but i hc that she was medically sterilized ever since she was brought in to be a child prostitute. its a kinda fucked thing up to headcanon but i feel like it'd kinda make sense and its another piece of herself that she was never given agency over. due to this, conversations about or mentioning pregnancy around her are a subject to avoid, regardless of whether or not she ever wanted or would have considered kids of her own
2.) TW: sexual assault
another thing i dont hear ppl talk about with making jay's story work out is the whole prison thing. i think garvey and his guys would, rather than being inmates, be guards planted by dino since jay would be placed in a women's prison and iirc women's prisons have some male guards (correct me if im wrong).
i also see the guard thing as making a bit more sense because of the immediate assumed authority in that role from other inmates and that i cant see the whole horniness and sexual assault parts of the prison arc being replicated with garvey as a woman. yes female rapists do exist irl but it'd be less believable in the banana fish universe considering all the powerful, primarily male connections that dino and his associates have at their disposal
3.) a bit less serious and upsetting one here :> i hc that jay would dress masc and that shes a total tomboy. not just as an act of teenage rebellion but as a true, deep-seeded facet of her personality. she'd be just as boyish as ash. she also wears baseball caps backwards because there's no way you don't also think she would.
she also does so not just to be a tomboy, but to hide her body. she has a smaller-than-average chest so it's easy to conceal but she really doesn't appreciate being looked at sexually, nor does she like any chance of it happening while she's minding her own. since so much attention drawn to her body is because of her nymphish appearance, she loathes wearing clothing that accentuates her body shape or makes her look delicate due to assumptions already made about her
4.) to ride off of the last one, she'd be exceptionally great at crossdressing. her voice has a natural rasp to it and she's quite tall and very capable of effortless androgyny. she could easily look like the opposite sex by doing as little as hiding her hair in her hat and changing her posture. she makes a damn good young man and her authentic toughness makes it even easier since she doesn't need to play up her personality to do so
5.) she carries her gun in her waistband in a conspicuous manner because as a woman, it's more dangerous walking alone out in the streets of NYC. so she makes sure everyone knows she's packing heat while also getting a little kick out of peoples' reactions when they see it on her
6.) although dino's wardrobe he allows her for whenever jay needs to dress up for meals or whatever is strictly feminine, her persistence in being boyish was enough to convince dino to humor her. she's now allowed to wear pants to meals, but he refuses her any wiggle room for formal events and will see to it that she wears a dress
7.) dino absolutely never lays off on her about her masculine personality and lets it be known to her that her attempts to "be a man" are futile because she "must always know that he will decide what happens to her body because he is her owner". even though she never considered herself a man, it hurt like hell whenever she would be punished by having all of her modes of expression stripped from her
at times, she wishes at times that she were a boy because due to her circumstances, she believes what happened to her would never happen if she weren't a girl. she grew up loathing her own gender, unable to shower or see herself naked without being reminded of her body and feeling furious at the world for making her this way. even though she'd seen boys her age who were in her same position, she still feels as though she might have had a chance at normalcy in her life if she never had been born a girl or even born at all. she knows it is an irrational thought and that none of it is her fault, yet she has internalized her rage for the world towards herself and her own sex
those are all the headcanons i have so far for her :D let me know your thoughts on these little brain worms i randomly had late at night one time
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hope all my fellow ash lynx kinnies and likers resonate with these lil thoughts i had ^_^
