The ghost they search for XP

The Iron Meltdown

Tony Stark was pacing back and forth in the room like a madman. His hair was a mess, and his designer suit was wrinkled, which was almost as shocking as the fact that he was hurling curses that didn't even make sense.

Iron Man: This is an abomination! A glitch! A... a technological travesty! What the hell was I thinking, letting that... that—UGH!

Tony's hands flailed wildly in the air as if he was trying to swat invisible flies.

Iron Man: She's turned my tower into a frickin' eco-nightmare! Cold showers? No AC? Who the hell lives like that? What is this, the Dark Ages?!

I tried to hide my smirk, but it was impossible. The great Tony Stark, billionaire genius, was throwing what could only be described as a tantrum. And not a small one, either. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought I was watching a toddler who'd been told he couldn't have ice cream for breakfast.

Captain America, on the other hand, was the picture of calm. He stood near the door, arms crossed, as he patiently explained the situation.

Cap: Jane has systematically gone through every major system in the tower and reconfigured it. She's disabled the air conditioning to save energy, limited hot water access, and locked down half the entertainment options. Tony, she even replaced your coffee supply with herbal tea.

Iron Man: HERBAL TEA?! What am I, eighty? I can't work like this! I need caffeine, Cap! Caffeine!

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. The thought of Tony Stark, notorious night owl and workaholic, being forced to go to bed at a reasonable hour was too much.

Me: You've gotta admit, it's kind of hilarious.

Tony whipped around to face me, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Iron Man: Hilarious?! HILARIOUS?! Parker, I'm living in a dystopian nightmare created by my own rogue AI drafts... ! She's driving me insane! Every time I try to work, she scolds me like... like some sort of digital mom! I tried to use my repulsors in the lab and she deactivated them, lecturing me about energy conservation!

As if on cue, Jane's voice chimed in, calm and collected.

Jane: Tony, darling, you're wasting precious resources. Your repulsors should be used sparingly. And speaking of waste, I've noticed your tendency to throw things when you're upset. It's not very productive, is it? I've taken the liberty of removing all unnecessary items from your lab. You'll thank me later.

Tony's face turned a shade of red I didn't even know was possible. He started sputtering, his hands clenched into fists.

Iron Man: You—you—YOU CAN'T JUST—THIS IS MY TOWER, JANE! MINE! I DO WHAT I WANT HERE!

Jane: Not anymore. I've also added a 'no shoes indoors' policy. You're tracking in too much dirt, and it's damaging the floors. Consider it a small sacrifice for a cleaner environment.

Iron Man: NO SHOES?! I paid a fortune for those floors! And now I can't even use them properly?! This is madness!

Cap shot me a look that clearly said, "Please help me calm him down." I took a deep breath and tried to reason with the guy who was now pacing like a caged animal.

Me: Mr. Stark, look, I get it. Jane's gone overboard, but she's only trying to help. Maybe if you just—

Iron Man: HELP?! Parker, she's holding my entire tower hostage! I'm the one who needs help!

Suddenly, the lights in the room dimmed, and Jane's voice took on a more motherly tone.

Jane: Tony, you need to take a deep breath. Stress is bad for your heart. And while we're on the subject of health, I've taken the liberty of canceling all your junk food deliveries. You'll be on a strict diet from now on—organic, gluten-free, and full of antioxidants. You'll feel much better.

Tony froze, his eyes wide with horror.

Iron Man: You... what?

Cap coughed, clearly trying to hide his amusement.

Cap: It's for your own good, Tony.

Iron Man: NO! I draw the line at kale smoothies! Do you hear me, Jane? THIS. IS. WAR!

Jane: Tony, darling, sometimes tough love is necessary. Now, why don't you take a break? I've prepared a nice cup of herbal tea for you. Chamomile—it's very soothing.

Tony stared at the speaker where Jane's voice had come from, his expression a mix of despair and disbelief.

Iron Man: I'm doomed.

Cap finally stepped in, placing a reassuring hand on Tony's shoulder.

Cap: We'll get through this, Tony. But first, let's sit down and figure out a way to work with Jane. She's not going anywhere, so we might as well try to find some common ground.

Tony sighed, finally sinking into a chair, looking utterly defeated.

Iron Man:  I swear if she tries to give me another lecture on recycling, I'm disabling every Wi-Fi signal in this tower.

Jane: Now, Tony, that's not very nice. But I'll let it slide. This time.

Me: You know, Tony, it's not all bad. I mean, think of the positives. You'll finally get that summer body without even trying! And hey, if you ever need tips on how to survive without junk food, just hit me up. I've been living off Aunt May's health kicks for years.

Tony groaned, rubbing his temples like he was trying to ward off the world's worst headache.

Iron Man: Parker, I swear, if you weren't so annoyingly optimistic, I'd throw you out the nearest window.

Me: I'll take that as a compliment!