Yula's Prequel

1. Finally! Daddy let me out!

Yula Maria Consunji's

I was still inside the moving car. My eyes couldn't stop wandering around this place. Kahit umaandar pa ang kotse at kahit alam kong kanina pa nakatitig sa akin si Daddy, wala akong pakialam, because all I want is to get out of this car and set foot on this school.

Finally! Daddy let me out!

I am not homeschooled anymore. I am an actual student enrolled in an actual school and I am about to have a bunch of actual classmates which I can interact with – well, if they know how to speak my language, but if they don't I have a phone and I can always type and show them what I want to say.

Bigla kong naramdaman ang marahang paghawak ni Daddy sa braso ko. I looked at him, wondering what's wrong. Why is his face full of sadness? Kaya ayoko siyang maghatid sa akin ngayon dito kasi ganito siya. I wanted Mommy, but Dad insisted on taking me to school. I bit my lower lip.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. Daddy moved his hand while speaking. I can lip read but messages are even clearer when they use FSL or ASL when they're talking to me.

"I'm just worried about you, my sweet baby angel."

"Eww, yuck. Don't call me that, Dad!" My father laughed and then he did the thing that I hated the most, he ruffled my hair. I spent hours fixing my hair. I made a face and put a bit of a distance between us too. He just smiled again. This time, he took my hand and kissed my knuckles and then he kissed my forehead.

"I just want to protect you. All your life, baby, I wanted nothing but happiness for you. Especially after what you have been through when you were younger. I wanted a perfect world where you can only see, taste, and smell good things. But your mom and Tita Hya are right. It's time for you to spread your wings and fly. But I just want you to be careful. Cause, what if you get hurt?"

I shook my head after seeing all the things that he wanted to say to me.

"I promise that I will take care of myself. Daddy, I know taekwondo! I'm a black belt and if anyone is to hurt me, I can defend myself! Plus, Kuya Yosef is here! He told me last night that he'll be checking on me from time to time! Promise, I will be a good girl! I will always update you too!"

Maybe that thought was enough to comfort my father because he just smiled. Siguro may mga bagay pa siyang gusting sabihin pero hindi na lang natuloy kasi huminto na ang kotse at kinailangan ko nang bumaba. I still can't believe that I am in THE University of the Philippines. I cannot believe that I got accepted and that I will be studying my love – ARTS in my dream school. Everything seemed like a dream, so I had to always pinch myself to check if this is real life or it's just fantasy pero masakit kasi kaya alam kong totoong – totoo na!

If I could talk, I would be screaming now.

I know that things will not be easy because I am deaf and mute. The professors, and even my classmates will look at me differently because of this but I don't care. I am here to study and be someone that my parents can be proud of.

I took a deep breath and braced myself for whatever it is that will be coming my way.

I know I can do this because after all, I am Yula Maria Consunji, and nobody can ever mess with me.

"How can you study here, eh diba pipi and bingi ka?"

"Hindi ka niya naririnig, so h'wag na lang natin siyang kausapin."

It didn't take long for my classmates to notice that I am different from them. Wala ngang isang oras noong nalaman nila ang bagay na hindi ko naman sinasabi. Wala naman sa akin iyon. I expected that they would be mean to me because of my condition. Inihanda ko na ang sarili ko sa ganito. I told myself that I will not hope for the better, I will not look for friends because I don't need those. Friends are good, but if they're only my friends because they want to make fun of me, then I am better alone.

I acted as if I could not read their lips and minded my own business. I put out my airpods max to wear it so they won't bother me but before I could do that, somebody snatched it away from me.

"Bingi ka diba, so why do you use this?" The girl with ruffles on her red blouse waved my airpods max in front of me. I kind of made a face because that was a gift from my brother, and I love it so much. I could hear them because of the hearing aid installed inside my ear. It was just a tiny looking microchip – like what Kuya Yohan has. Nagpunta pa kami ng Japan para lang ilagay iyon sa akin noong thirteen years old ako.

I extended my arms to get my airpods max, but the girl made some distance so that I had to stand up and come to her. Nakakainis. Why are they doing this to me? I already know that I am different from them. They don't need to rub it in. Nagulat ako nang itulak ako ng isa sa mga kasama niya.

"Bingi ka, so it's ours now." Nagtawanan silang apat at saka umalis na. My mouth parted. Nakuyom ang mga palad ko. I have readied myself in this situation pero hindi ko naman naisip na sa unang araw pa lang ay mangyayari na. Why are people so keen on making disabled people so different? Bakit ba isinusuka ng lipunang ito ang tulad kong sinusubukan lang namang mamuhay ng normal?

All my life, I was confined to the four walls of our home. Naiintindihan ko naman ang overprotectiveness ni Daddy sa akin. Wala namang magulang na gustong masaktan ang anak. I know his fears. Ipinapaintindi iyon sa akin ni Mymy sa lahat ng pagkakataon, but I also know what I want, and I want this. I want to be included. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko naman naramdaman sa pamilya kong hindi ako kasali. They all loved me. I feel so cherished all the time.

But... but my heart wants what it wants, and I just want to feel normal.

But is this the price I must pay for wanting normalcy? I looked at the girls again. They were playing with my airpods max. I need to take that back because it's from Kuya Yohan and Ate Meera. It was their gift for my last birthday, and I really loved it. Baka magaling si Kuya kapag hindi ko iyon nakuha and I don't want Kuya Yohan to get mad at me.

So, I did what I had to do. I stood up and decided that I need to stand up for myself. Anak ako ni Yael Consunji. Hindi ako pinalaking papaapi.

Lumapit ako sa kinauupuan nila. The girl that took my airpods max raised her brow at me – like that's supposed to scare me. As if! I rolled my eyes at her and took my airpods without even thinking twice. Akin iyon, wala siyang magagawa.

"What the fuck?! Ang tapang mo naman pala!"

With all the strenght that I have, I used my hands and showed her how furious I am – kahit alam kong hindi naman niya ako maiintindihan.

"I don't know you. I don't care about you. What's mine is mine so stay in your lane because if this happens again may kalalagyan ka na sa akin. Back off!" Inirapan ko siya at saka ako tumalikod. I even heard them laughing, but I didn't care. Hindi man nila ako naintindihan, but I guess it was enough to send the message that no one should mess with me.