Stardust Chords || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 18: Breaking Free

Josh's P.O.V

It felt like I was moving in slow motion as I made my way down the hall, the realization of what I was about to do settling in with every step I took.

I tried my best to muster the same confidence I wielded on stage every night but for some reason, it was elusive in this moment. I was used to commanding the spotlight, so why was the idea of just talking to Avery so nerve-wracking?

It was almost comical. And in a strange but comforting way, it made me think of Jake, stumbling over his words whenever he tried to talk to Jewel. If he could summon the courage to face his own nervousness, then surely I could find some way to do the same.

With a deep breath and a mental pep talk, I took a tentative step closer, trying to shake off the anxiety, hoping I could channel just a fraction of my on-stage charisma into this conversation.

The rest of the crew turned to face me before he did.
"Hey Josh!" One called out, flashing me an eager grin. I hadn't learned his name yet.
"Hey!" I exclaimed, looking around at all of them as I felt my heart beat faster. Finally, Avery turned to face me, his icy blue eyes piercing through me as he flashed me a wide, toothy grin.

Was he happy to see me?

"Hey, everything all good?" He asked. My heart jumped.
"Oh, um, yeah, I uh.. I was just wondering if.. if we could talk." I managed. His smile grew as he looked around, almost confused.
"Aren't we talking right now?" He laughed. I could feel my face get hot.
"Y-yeah. Yeah." I laughed nervously, shoving my hands into my pockets. The rest of the guys looked around at each other until eventually Avery nodded, motioning for them to leave.

I was thankful for at least a minute alone.

"So um.." I started, having no clue where I was going with this. I just knew I wanted this to last as long as possible. "I was thinking about, you know, the sound for tonight's show and well, I was wondering if you could.. well, if you could make it sound.. better." I instantly cringed as the words left my mouth. The last thing I wanted to do was offend him. My brain just wasn't working.

I was instantly relieved when he let out a quiet chuckle.

"Better?" He asked. "Can you.. be more specific?"
"Um, yeah. I mean, it's already great, obviously. You're amazing. I just.. I was hoping maybe we could, you know, tweak it a little?" I stuttered. He held his stare on me, raising his eyebrow.
"Tweak it how?" I anxiously started rocking back and forth, squeezing my hands into tighter fists in my pockets.

"Well, I was thinking, maybe less reverb on the vocals? And.. oh, you know what, never mind. I'm probably overthinking it. You're the expert here. I trust you. I just want everything to sound perfect."
"Hey, it's okay." He said, so sweetly. I felt my heart beating faster as his face relaxed into a soft grin. "If you have specific thoughts, just let me know. I'm here to help."
"Right, of course. I.. I actually do think the vocals could use a bit more clarity, you know? And, uh, I've been meaning to ask if, um, you're free after the show?" I finally managed to spit out. The silence rang in my ears, every second feeling like an eternity as he stared back at me

"After the show?" He asked curiously. I nodded.
"Yeah, I.. I was thinking we could, you know.. hang out. Maybe.. grab a drink or something?" He nodded, maintaining that same smile that made my heart melt.
"Oh, yeah, sure." He said nonchalantly. "But is there something specific you wanted to talk about?"
"No, I mean, not really. I just thought, uh, it'd be nice to, you know, hang out outside of work."

I didn't want him thinking this was something he was obligated to do; I was never entirely sure of how the crew viewed us, and I never wanted anyone agreeing to things like this because they felt like they had to.

I wanted him to want to.

"Okay, yeah." He finally said, flashing me another enthusiastic grin. "That sounds cool. Me and the guys are usually just around after the show so, just let me know and we can get a group together. It'll be fun." My stomach dropped.

A group.
He thought I was inviting everyone?
Did he really not want to be alone with me?
Or was I not obvious enough?

"Great, yeah, um. Cool. Awesome. Thanks, Avery. I'll.. I'll see you later then." He nodded, giggling to himself.
"Yeah, see you later, Josh!"
"Right, okay. Bye." I said, quickly hurrying off down the hallway to try and find Jewel again as I mumbled under my breath.

"Smooth. Real smooth."

Jewel's P.O.V

I leaned against the cool brick wall, my heart now tangled mess of anticipation as I waited for the show to begin. I then looked over at the sound of the heavy backstage door creaking open, Noah suddenly appearing from behind it, looking unusually sober and doubtfully earnest. He approached me with a sense of hesitance as if the gravity of our situation had finally dawned on him.

My mind replayed fragments of last night; Noah's slurred confessions, the clumsy declarations that had left me both unsettled and confused, making me wonder if that was a life I actually wanted anymore.

"Hey Jewel.." He started, his voice unsteady but determined. "I know I was pretty drunk last night, and.. I might've said some things that didn't come out the way I intended, but I think.. well, I think it is time we talk about the idea of.. getting married. I'm ready to talk about it.. if you are." He said softly, making his way over to me. He awkwardly reached over for my hand, carefully holding it between his fingers.

"I just.. you know, we should talk about where this is heading." He said, his eyes moving down to our hands as he carefully started to inspect my left one.
"What made you want to do this now?" I asked. We had been together for years and not once has he ever brought up the idea of getting married on his own. There had to be some reason. He shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess.. there just comes a point in a man's life where he realizes.. he needs to be thankful for what he has. And.. maybe seeing you with other guys has.. given me the little push that I need to realize that.. I don't want to see you with anyone else." I could feel my cheeks burn, the uneasiness of the conversation now taking over me.
"What do you mean.. other guys?" I asked. He let out a deep sigh, shooting me a look as if I should know exactly what he was talking about.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you and Jake have gotten.. comfortable." He muttered, avoiding my eyes again. I felt my heart beat faster.
"Hardly."
"Well, you've never smoked this much before." He sneered. "But.. I really want to figure this out with you." His words hung in the air, the lack of understanding in his tone making my stomach knot further.
"We.. we can talk about it tonight." I finally said, unsure of what I would even say to him.

I had always envisioned myself walking down the aisle. The idea of marriage had once been a beacon of hope, a promise of stability and love. But in the wake of the past few days, especially after my conversation with Josh, my once-clear vision had blurred into uncertainty. Living in the safety net of.. whatever this was with Noah had provided comfort, but it now felt more like a cage.

As I stood here staring back at him, the thought of breaking free and exploring what else life had to offer seemed both terrifying and exhilarating. Maybe it was time to venture beyond the familiar and embrace the unknown, to find out what truly made my heart soar.

And if it was one too many shared cigarettes, then I wanted to find out before it was too late.