Stardust Chords || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 19: A Crush

From the wings I watched in awe as the guys commanded the stage, their energy electrifying the air. Every cheer and ecstatic shout from the crowd amplifying my own exhilaration, a vivid reminder of my integral role in crafting this entire experience.

The pure joy on the fans' faces and the unrestrained passion from the guys painted a perfect picture of what I lived for. Surrounded by the vibrant chaos of the backstage world, I felt more alive than ever when I was at a show. The road was my home; the thrill of each show a promise of the life I was destined to lead, one I could never imagine leaving behind.

I moved out of the way as the guys took their bows, flashing the crowd one last smile and a wave before hastily making their way off stage and back into the wings. Josh was always the first one back, wired as ever as he greeted the team with a satisfied grin and a hand grip, mouthing "thank you" as he made his way through the crowd. As he got to me, he held on a little longer, leaning in closer.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked, motioning further backstage. I nodded, holding onto him as he quickly lead me further down the hallway, the echoing cheers fading away behind us. His face was still flushed, now trying his best to conceal the fact that he was still trying to catch his breath, but smiled back at me to assure me everything was fine.

"What's going on?" I asked, leaning back against the wall. He sighed, looking around before turning back to me, crossing his arms against his chest.
"So, I talked to Avery.." He said softly. I couldn't help but smile, remembering how he had gotten at just the mention of him.
"That's the first thing you want to talk about after getting off stage?" I laughed. He nodded, playfully rolling his eyes.
"Yes." He groaned. "That's all I was thinking about."
"Alright so what happened?" I asked eagerly. "How did it go?"

Josh's cheeks were flushed with a mix of embarrassment and excitement as he recounted his conversation.
"I was a total mess, but we finally had a real conversation." He shifted from foot to foot, barely containing his grin.
"Well, that's great. What did you guys talk about?"
"Well.. I might've mentioned wanting to fix the sound, which.. was fine. I don't know why I said that, but I didn't want to make it obvious. I don't know. But.. then I asked him if he wanted to go out and-"
"You asked him out??" I exclaimed. He let out a deep sigh, his smile growing.
"You're braver than me. I could never do that." I muttered. He shrugged.

"Yeah, well, apparently I wasn't clear enough, because he's basically inviting everyone else out with us, so... I guess I made it sound like a group thing."
"Oh, no.." I laughed. He nodded, avoiding my eyes.
"And.. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if he was trying to avoid being alone with me, or.. what. So.. I just said yeah, that was fine."

I could tell how flustered he was. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes, though I'm sure situations like this weren't easy for anyone. Did anyone really know what they were doing when it came to dating? I had been in a relationship for years and even I felt like I was clueless, making me wonder why he felt the need to come to me about this.

"Well, maybe.. maybe this is good." I finally said, trying my best to make him feel better. He stared back at me, his face falling into a confused grimace.
"Good?" He asked.
"Yeah, because.. now it seems casual enough but.. maybe at some point in the night, you can.. I don't know, get him alone. Maybe this could take the pressure off of it feeling like a date. I always felt like it was easier to get to know someone with more people around. There's.. less pressure." His face eventually relaxed into a smirk. I felt my cheeks burn.

"What?" I asked. He stayed quiet, shaking his head.
"Nothing." He said simply. "You're right. Maybe it'll be fine. But.. you'll come out tonight, right?" I hesitated for a moment, remembering how Noah wanted to talk tonight. But honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was have that conversation. I had waited years for this and now, it just didn't feel the way I thought it would.

"What, do you have some big plans?" He joked, playfully nudging me. I shook my head, giggling to myself.
"No." I sighed, now looking away. "It's just.. Noah-" Josh let out a quiet groan. My smile grew.
"Noah wanted to talk about.." I trailed off, motioning back. "You know, what happened the other night, and.. some other stuff."
"Other stuff like.."
"Like getting married." I forced myself to say. His face dropped for a second, but he was quick to save it with a neutral expression.

"Well, how do you feel about that?" He asked. I shrugged, now getting a pit in my stomach whenever someone brought it up. Wasn't this supposed to be exciting?
"I just don't feel the way I thought I would."
"How did you think it was gonna feel?"
"I just thought.. I don't know." He nodded.
"I won't pry. But.. I just.. I think that.. if you feel this way now.." He trailed off.
"Why don't we just talk about you?" I asked, giving him a gentle smile. He nodded, smiling back.

"Fine." He sighed. "So you'll come out tonight? I'll need you there in case I say anything stupid."
"I don't think you're capable of saying anything stupid, Josh." I said softly. His smile grew.
"Well, thank you. That's the kind of support I need. Hopefully he feels the same way."
"He'd be crazy not to."

He was quiet again, peering around as the rest of the crew made their way down the hall from backstage, still buzzing from the show, their excitement just as contagious. I then saw him tense up at the sight of Avery, flashing him a toothy grin, giving him a subtle wave. Avery nodded in his direction, motioning towards the side doors. His eyes went wide as he peeked back over at me. I nodded, giggling to myself as I playfully shoved him toward them.

"Go!" I mouthed to him. He hesitated for a second before forcing himself to follow, flashing me an excited grin before disappearing out the doors.

As I watched him disappear down the hallway, a warm, nostalgic smile tugged at my lips. I was thrilled for him, seeing the pure excitement and giddiness of having a crush; the kind of exhilarating feeling that makes every moment seemed charged with possibility.

It was a feeling I missed so deeply, having faded into the background of life after years with Noah. The intensity of that initial spark felt like a distant memory now, softened by time, and how badly I wished I could experience it again, even just one more time.

And then my heart jumped at the sight of Jake emerging from backstage, making his way towards me from down the hall, suddenly awakening a forceful craving for a cigarette that I hadn't felt since the last time I saw him.

"There you are!" He exhaled, pushing the sweaty hair out of his face. My eyes instantly shot down to his bare chest, slightly exposed from under his jacket, glistening under the fluorescent lighting above. I quickly averted my eyes, meeting his again.

Brown eyes were so beautiful, holding a unique allure that felt both timeless and intimate. Shimmering with depths of caramel and hazel, capturing the light in a way that evokes the rich hues of autumn leaves, the soothing embrace of a rustic sunset. Each glance carrying a sense of comfort and familiarity, conveying warmth and kindness, often reflecting a quiet strength and depth of emotion that is both captivating and deeply grounding. The subtle variations in their shade, from deep chocolate to lighter amber, create a mesmerizing dance of color that draws you in, inviting you to lose yourself in their profound and gentle charm.

"Hey.." I managed, a flustered grin escaping my lips. He stopped in front of me, leaning up against the wall.
"So, word is we're all going out again tonight." He giggled, I'm sure having heard from Josh. I wondered if he knew the extent of the plans.
"I guess we are."
"So.. you're gonna be there?" He pried. I nodded, bitting down on my lip.
"Y-yeah, why?" I asked. He shrugged, avoiding my eyes as he went into his jacket pocket, pulling out his carton of cigarettes.

"Just curious." He muttered, now motioning towards the back door of the venue. My smile grew as I nodded, following him closely as he lead us out into the parking lot.