Stardust Chords || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 20: Cautious

As Sam led the group into the bar, we entered a world of flashing neon lights and thumping bass pulsing through the air. The cavernous space was a far cry from the cozy, dimly lit pubs we'd frequented in the past; it was a boisterous playground, alive with the raucous energy of karaoke singers belting out their favorite tunes and the clanging of one too many drinks.

I scanned the room, searching for Josh, who likely felt a mix of apprehension and anticipation as he closely followed Avery toward a table. As we navigated through the crowds and dizzying lights, my gaze then flicked toward the bar, where my eyes met Jake's. He offered a shy, hesitant smile, a small beacon of excitement of what was potentially to come.

"Are we starting with shots?" Sam called out, waving us all over as he got comfortable at the bar. I peeked over at Jake, who was already ordering. One by one the bartender lined up the shots of tequila in front of us, and before I had time to think, I quickly took a swig, feeling it burn all the way down.

I looked further down the bar, now seeing Josh standing close to Avery, his eyes never once leaving his. I loved seeing him so happy, but at the same time I was now terrified of him getting hurt. The closer Josh and I got, the more territorial I felt over him, and how badly I wanted this to work out for him.

He deserved to be happy, and to be loved as much as he loved in return.

I then felt a hand on my shoulder, turning around to see Jake smirking back at me, now leaning in close to talk over the deafening music.
"No Noah tonight?" He asked. My heart jumped at the feeling of his breath on my neck. I shook my head, unable to contain my grin.

When I had told Noah the plans for the night, you could say he was less than thrilled at the fact that I wasn't throwing everything aside for the possibility of talking about a potential engagement. Part of me wondered if he thought he was punishing me by not joining me, but deep down I was relieved to have the space.

As the night wore on and the drinks flowed more freely, our group's joviality reached a crescendo of hilarity. Each successive round seemed to dissolve our inhibitions further, transforming our laughter into an increasingly whimsical blend of poetry.

The more inebriated we became, the more our walls crumbled, revealing a delightful vulnerability we rarely embrace in the sober light of day. What started as casual banter soon evolved into heartfelt, poetic musings, as if the alcohol had unlocked a hidden realm of tender self-expression.

By now, Jake and I had found ourselves in a secluded booth in the back of the bar, and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't my goal from the moment we walked through the door.

All I wanted was time alone with him.

"So tell me.." He said, leaning in closer. His words slurring with a flirtatious grin.
"What?" I asked, leaning my chin on my hand, holding my stare on him. His smile grew.
"What made you decide that you want to live on the road?" He asked. "I mean, it can get lonely-"
"Are you lonely?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, his face dropping. He eventually shrugged. I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head.

"What's so funny?" He asked. I sighed.
"Because you of all people shouldn't be lonely, Jake." He smirked.
"And.. why's that?"
"A single guitarist on a sold out tour? You could have anyone you want." He was quiet again, his eyes narrowing into a pondering gaze.
"That's not true." He mumbled, taking another long sip of his drink.

If only he knew.

"It's exciting." I finally said. He gave me a questioning look.
"Living on the road. It's exciting."
"I agree." He said softly. I was starting to love this side of him.

"I am lonely, though." He mumbled, avoiding my eyes. My heart dropped.
"You don't have to be." I said, staring back at him, feeling my eyelids start to get heavier. He playfully rolled his eyes, his cheeks flushing an adorable shade of embarrassed pink.
"Yeah, a single guitar player who.. doesn't do hookups.. traveling to a different city every night.. that's like.. the epitome of lonely, Jewel."

I almost couldn't stand how handsome he was.

He was like a sunset; a breathtaking view that captivates you so completely, and despite just how blinding it was, there was just something about it where you couldn't look away. Every time he was near, he cast a mesmerizing glow that was impossible to ignore.

"That's sweet." I muttered. He giggled to himself, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah. Sweet."
"It is. I.. I don't know many guys who wouldn't take advantage of the position you're in." He shrugged again.
"Just doesn't interest me, I guess. It's just.. another way to get hurt."

I hated the idea of anyone ever hurting him.

"Did someone hurt you?" I asked, almost regretting it as the words left my mouth. His face instantly dropped, taking another big swig of his drink.
"Yeah." He finally admitted. "She did."
"I'm sorry." I said softly. He shrugged again, now visibly uncomfortable.
"It's whatever. So.. I just.. don't deal with it anymore."
"Deal with what? Feelings?" I asked. He nodded, looking back out at the bar again.

"I really don't think you can help that. I think.. sometimes we just meet someone-"
"Yeah." He said, quick to cut me off. "But.. I can help what I do about it."
"I don't know. I think.. if there was someone, I think you should tell her."
"And what if she was already with someone?" He asked. I felt my cheeks burn.
"I mean.. maybe if she knew.. she could make a better decision." He was quiet again for a moment.

"Would you want someone to tell you?" He finally asked. I now felt my heart start to beat faster.
"I.. well, I mean-" I then saw him look across the bar, his face relaxing into a relieved smirk.
"Well, would you look at that.." He said, his voice finally cheerful. I then turned around to see Josh and Avery sitting closely at the bar, their faces inches apart.

I wondered how much Jake knew.

"That must be nice." He said softly, almost as if just to himself. I peeked back at him to see him already looking at me. My heart jumped. Even through his crimson red blood-shot eyes, they were still the most beautiful shade of brown I had ever seen.
"Yeah." I agreed. "It must be." I finished the rest of my drink, watching as it seemed like Josh and Avery were now in their own little world.

I was happy for him, but still cautious.

"I do know." Jake said. I quickly turned back to him, to which he gave me a reassuring nod.
"You do?"
"Of course I do." He said simply. "We're twins." I couldn't help but smile at the idea.
"Did he-"
"No, but I know he will when he's ready. So.. for the time being, I'm happy that he at least has you." I nodded.
"Me too."

We watched in silence for a moment, just enjoying this little slice of bliss that I had always wanted for myself. Despite how many years Noah and I had been together, I don't think we had ever looked at each other like that. At least for these few minutes I could live vicariously through them.

"Are you really gonna marry him, Jewel?" Jake asked. My heart sunk as I turned back again to face him. He stared back at me with a melancholy gaze, and suddenly with one look, I questioned everything I had ever known.

"Jake, I don't-"
"There's my fiancé!" I then heard from behind us, feeling like I was going to throw up as Noah made his way across the bar.