To Love A Blind Beast

chapter 26.

I know what you are all thinking, Liah you bitch, get up and go to him.

It's not as easy as it sounds, trust me.

That day, in that particular moment when I ran away, it was for a reason. That girl in that dungeon saw something that made her ran away.  My dear wise mom made me see that.

I had ran away because reality had finally caught up on me. I could finally see all of my mate and at that particular moment my emotions collided and I couldn't decide which to follow. I was afraid yes, anyone in my shoes could have been. That was the man who woke me up in the morning with forehead kisses, the man sweet enough to share all that he owns with me whole heartedly labeling them ours ,the man who clinged to me every time we spent a few hours away from each other, the man who cuddled to me like a puppy whenever he was too tired , and now that same man stood in front of me flesh blood dripping from his lethal claws, his chest covered in the blood of a wolf he had butchered. I love laying on that chest for heavens sake, how the hell was I supposed to peacefully sleep on it again without truly accepting him.

If I had gone to him that day it could have been creating another land mine that would surely explode on us in the least expected moment. Just like that fateful day. By the way am hurting and how broken He was, i don't think we could make it out alive, if another one hit us.

With the help of my family, especially my mom, am demolishing the rest of the illusion world I had created and now I'm trying to come to terms with the real world.
Everybody had been surprised and impressed how I had handled being mated to the alpha, some had even rumored that I was in it for the glory, I mean can you believe the nerve of some people. Like it angered me that the only reason people could come up with of Elijah's mate accepting him is due to fame and rank!!
In truth I hadn't truly processed that particular information, it's like a defense mechanism that had me overlook my mate being The alpha Killian, not just my sweet Elijah.
The two are the same person and I had been a naive fool not coming to terms with that fact sooner, trying to separate his two personalities even without me knowing. Those days are long gone, my mate is The alpha Elijah Killian, the blood thirsty beast everyone fears, the blind alpha who lays waste to his enemies without mercy . He also is the same sweet man that I spent the last few months with. I needed to understand and accept those facts because am sure one never even existed until I came into the picture. The old him is still there and I'm not going to try and change him, No, I going to accept him, bloody chest and all.
I owed him that much after running away from him.
Changing him wasn't in the books for me. I have never believed in making people change, people don't change, they just suppress themselves to accommodate the said change, it never works, just a disaster awaiting to happen. It's just easier and definitely safer just accepting people as they are and help them become a better version of who they are.

But, as I said before, it's easier said than done.

I don't even know how long I stayed behind the café just staring into nothingness. The thing I hate the most about this situation is that I know am the problem, not my mate, me. We are going through this because am not strong enough. Am not strong enough for him. I don't even know why the moon goddess paired a weakling to one of the most powerful wolves in the werewolf history. But everything happens for a reason, and rejecting My alpha wasn't an option, weak or not that wolf is stuck with me. I won't always be weak, I will make sure of that, call me selfish but I don't care, when it comes to my mate I will always be selfish.

Deciding I was done being a pathetic weakling, I raise up dusting my dress and got back to work.

"Oh my goddess! Are you serious, "
"Of course, I have very good sources. "

Gossips, people do like to stick their noses in others businesses ,but café gossips are a good way to keep me distracted, I guess am no better.

"Okay, but have you had the latest hot goss,"
"Don't keep me guessing, spill,"
"Rumor has it the alpha can't shift, "
"What do you mean can't shift?"
"Mmhmmh, I mean exactly that. "
"But that can't be possible, the Alpha is like THE strongest wolf, like ever,"
"I hear it's because the Luna rejected him, and you know rejection doesn't discriminate weak or strong. "
"But how, they were okay, my friend that works in the pack house told me things between the two was good, she said the alpha even smiled, can you believe it, the Alpha smiling!!"

"Yeah,  I heard that too, but you know how the she wolves nowadays are, just pretty faces with nothing to offer, "

"Don't say that she is the Luna," in a whispering tone.

"Oh please  that doll face doesn't deserve being called Luna,"
"Agather!"
"What , you know am right, " fanning herself.

"But, didn't the alpha go to that rogue war, "
"Oh goddess, yes he did! And without a wolf!"
"Goddess be with our Alpha, "

Am not even mad hearing these wolves say those things about me, I deserve it all. But i don't think they actually know me, otherwise they wouldn't be gossiping about me in our cafe.
What made me freeze, dread filling me is what they said about Elijah's wolf. I certainly know about the war, am still the Luna. I had been so proud hearing my mate finally figured out the rogue situation and cornered the leader, even when I wasn't by his side, he still did it. But I wasn't aware of how they were planning the attack or when. Heck I have been having breakdowns after breakdowns I didn't even realize I couldn't feel Elijah in the pack grounds anymore.

He...h..he..went....oh moon goddess he went to war with....without his WOLF.

I know, I shouldn't trust this gossip mongers but this is my mate, I can't take any chances, and you know what they say ,rumors have basis.

I didn't even realize I was moving until I passed the two she wolves.

"I did not reject my mate, I never will!"
My wolf had surfaced, refusing to be disrespected, baring our teeth as a growl rumbled from my chest, refusing to stand down until the she wolves bowed their heads in submission.
Contented, she finally allowed us to dash out .
I don't know where I'm actually going, but one thing is clear,

It's now or never.