NAVIGATING 5 - tadgh lynch

1-Lilibeth

"There's no good hero without a traumatic backstory"

May 3rd, 1998

I rushed downstairs to show my mammy the picture I made. It was a crayon drawing of me, her, daddy, and the baby in mammy's belly. When i got into the kitchen, i saw my granny hugging my mammy. It looked like she was crying. I wondered if the baby was hurting her again. 

"What's wrong with mammy?" I asked my granny, when she looked at me, I think I saw water in her eyes. I wish i could get it out for her. She sat my mammy on a chair at the table, and crouched down to me. 

"Something's happened your daddy, pet." She whispered. 

"Did he get an owie?" I whispered back to her. I didn't know why we were whispering, but she was already sad, I didn't want to upset her more. 

"Yeah baby," She rubbed a hand over my hair, "He got a really really bad owie."

 I frowned. I wonder what happened. I wonder where he is "Where is he?" A tear slipped from her eye, but she put her head down so i couldn't see her.           

 "He went to a special place, Bethy," She said when she looked back up, "Up in the sky." In the sky? Is granny being silly? She didn't look silly. She looked sad. I would be too if my son got an owie. 

"Will he be back for my birthday?" She didn't hide the tears this time. 

"No baby, he's not coming back." I frowned. Why would she say that? Daddy always comes back for me. He said he would take me to the toy shop for my birthday, and if i was lucky he would bring me down to Belfast. 

"But he pinky swore he would. I even made a picture." I showed her my drawing, and she took it out of my hands. Her hands were shaking a lot. She was still crying, and so was mammy. She hugged me tight and told me everything would be okay. 

I didn't sleep for the next few nights. I though if i stayed awake, daddy might see me from the sky and come down to me. Granny said he's a star now, looking down at me. Mammy went to the hospital today. My auntie Jannette went out of the room and left me and mammy alone for a minute, and when I looked at her, she had blood dripping down her legs. I called for my auntie and they left for the hospital. Tonight, when granny was tucking me into bed, she told me that mammy was fine, but the baby wasn't able to be born. That made me sad. 

Granny took care of me, and on Sunday we had to have a mass for daddy. I got a front row seat. I saw a box at the altar, Granny said daddy was in there. When i asked to see him she said no, and that made me sad. I cried most of the mass, but afterward, mammy picked me up at walked out of the church and carried me out.

One year later

I woke up a few days after we finished school and stumbled downstairs. Granny had been taking care of me since daddy went away last year, because mammy was having trouble and getting sick. Granny said it was because she was taking the wrong medicine, but she wouldn't say anything else about it. When i walked into the kitchen, my auntie Sadhbh was there with my mammy. I never saw auntie Sadhbh much, she lived super far away. Mammy rushed to me when she saw me and scooped me into a hug, I hugged her back, really tight. I love her hugs. But then she whispered in my ear.

 "You're going to live with your auntie Sadhbh for a bit, okay?"  

What??

first chapter, what do we think?? I've read my fair share of Tadgh stories, and i know most of them make Tadgh a bit more grown up but i think most of their trauma happens in the first 12 years of their unnecessarily miserable lives, so i hope you love it anyway!