NAVIGATING 5 - tadgh lynch

FUNERALBLUES

LILIBETH

28th May, 2005

I knew I would be attending a funeral when I saw the Lynch house in flames.
I knew I would be second row at said funeral when Edel was getting my measurements for a dress.
I knew I would be playing my fiddle while they were being buried when Joey asked me and Patrick to. 
And now I'm here, wrapped in a black satin dress and a fiddle in arm as I watch six Lynch children bury their parents. If I knew it was going to happen, why does it feel so surreal? It seems like each drag of my bow against the strings of my fiddle makes everything more depressing. I always wanted to play gigs, but i never anticipated this being my first, though id hardly call this a gig. 

I scan the area around me. I ignore Theodore's family completely, almost wishing they would save their tears for something worth it. Patrick is beside me on his guitar. On the opposite side of the grave is Joey. Standing with his hands in his pockets, staring at the wooden box his mother will spend the rest of her eternity, looking every bit of the man he was forced into being when he was twelve. Beside him, Ollie hugs the arm Joey holds Sean with. Johnny, a boy I would consider a brother, stands with a frail Shannon under his arm. Beside them is Gibsie, Hughie Biggs and his sister Claire, and Lizzie Young. Then as I enter the next verse of the melody I miraculously memorized, my eyes land on Tadhg. Staring emotionlessly at the hole in which his parents will reside for the rest of their existence. It pains me to see him like this, so I'll do whatever it takes to help him. Even if I ruin myself in the process.

this is really short but we move. also i renamed all the chapters so if it comes up i released a new chapter but it was one of the older ones thats why. love ya x

Okay emo ig