It was meant to be

16 - Mistakes

Tessa

I stay at the entrance of Auden's room, my thoughts a chaotic mess as I try to process what I saw today. Seeing Vanessa so close to Hardin, watching the way she leaned into him, knowing he didn't pull away—it cut deeper than I expected. I shouldn't be feeling like this. Hardin isn't mine. We aren't together.

I glance over at Auden, who's fast asleep in his bed. His gentle breathing is the only sound breaking through the silence. I took this job to care for him, to help Hardin keep some sense of normalcy after Natalie's death. But things have become complicated, and now... now I don't even know what we are anymore. Friends? Boss and employee? Something more? The lines have blurred so much.

Seeing Vanessa draped over Hardin like that makes me question everything.

I didn't expect to feel jealous. But I did. I do. That pang of jealousy mixed with anger and hurt is gnawing at me, making it hard to breathe. It doesn't matter that nothing is officially happening between Hardin and me. There's something there—I know it, and he knows it too. We've been slowly stepping closer, testing the waters, sharing those stolen moments that make my heart race.

But now? Now I wonder if it's all in my head.

Hardin was drunk, I know that much. But that doesn't change what I saw—how close they were, how easy it seemed for Vanessa to be in his space. I can't help but wonder if Hardin has feelings for her, even if he doesn't realize it.

The thing is... I care about Hardin. I care more than I should. I've been trying to keep things professional, to focus on Auden, but every time Hardin looks at me, every time he smiles or touches me, I feel like I'm sinking deeper into something I can't control. And now, I'm terrified that I've misread the entire situation.

I know Vanessa is bad news. I can feel it in my gut, but I don't know if Hardin sees it. And if he doesn't? What does that mean for us? For whatever we've been building?

I leave back downstairs and I finish my tea while I think about everything. I didn't mean to fall for Hardin, but he's everything I need. He's so different than Alex and I need a man like him in my life, but now... I don't know what's going on.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by Auden's yell, so I run upstairs and into his room. I quickly turn on the lamp and I sit next to him.

"What's wrong, baby?" I say and I take him in my arms.

"Monster." He cries and I rub his back.

"You are alright, baby. I'm here." I say and I kiss his head. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Yes."

"Alright." I get in bed next to him and I hold him at my chest, singing him a lullaby until we both fall asleep.

Hardin

The house is dark and quiet when I get home. The usual warmth I feel when I walk through the door is absent tonight. My stomach churns with guilt, knowing how badly I messed up.

I never wanted Tessa to see me like that—drunk, reckless, and with Vanessa way too close for comfort. The truth is, Vanessa doesn't mean anything to me. It was a stupid moment of weakness, fueled by stress and alcohol. But Tessa doesn't know that. She only saw what was right in front of her, and I can't blame her for being upset.

I head into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water to try and clear my head. The thought of Tessa, the hurt in her eyes when she saw us—it's eating me alive. I've come to rely on her more than I ever thought I would. She's been my rock since Natalie died, helping with Auden, bringing some light back into this house. And somewhere along the way, I've started to feel things for her that I wasn't expecting. Things I shouldn't feel.

Natalie's gone, and that pain will never fully go away. But Tessa... she's brought something different into my life. And now I've gone and screwed it up by letting Vanessa get too close.

I can't stop replaying the scene in my head—Tessa standing there, watching us. The look on her face was a mix of shock, anger, and something else I couldn't quite place. Jealousy? Maybe. But who am I to assume that? We've been flirting, sure, but nothing more. I don't even know if she sees me that way.

But damn it, I see her that way. I care about her in a way that scares the hell out of me.

I finish my water and head upstairs, planning to check on Auden before calling it a night. As I approach his door, I gently push it open, expecting to find him alone in his bed like usual. But instead, my breath catches in my throat.

There, curled up beside Auden on the small bed, is Tessa.

Her arm is draped protectively over him, both of them lost in the deepest sleep. Auden, clutching his stuffed dinosaur tightly, has his head resting against her shoulder, his small face peaceful and content. Tessa looks just as serene, her soft features lit by the dim glow of the nightlight. She seems so at ease beside him, like she belongs there.

It's the first time I've seen her like this—so maternal, so natural in this role with him. Something stirs deep in my chest, something I've been trying to ignore for a while now. The way they're lying together, as if they're meant to be this little family unit, hits me harder than I want to admit. It's not just Auden who's grown attached to her. I have, too.

My thoughts drift back to how much she's done for us both. Tessa's not just Auden's babysitter; she's been my lifeline. Her laughter has filled this house when things felt dark, her patience and care have kept Auden grounded. She's become a constant presence in our lives, and I realize now how much I rely on her.

But seeing them like this tonight—seeing her in this quiet, vulnerable moment with my son—it awakens something new in me. A deeper understanding of what she's come to mean to both of us.

I feel a mix of emotions—gratitude, longing, and the sharp sting of guilt for what happened with Vanessa. The memory of that night still lingers, threatening to ruin this delicate thing I've started to build with Tessa.

I stand there, watching them for a moment longer, feeling torn between the comfort of this scene and the mess I've made of things. But one thing is crystal clear: I can't let anything jeopardize what we have now—not for Auden's sake, not for mine.

As I turn away from Auden's door, I make a decision. Tomorrow, I need to talk to Tessa. I need to explain what happened, tell her that Vanessa doesn't mean anything to me, and figure out where we stand. I can't lose her—not when I've just started to realize how much she means to me.

But as I lie in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, the fear of what I might have already lost keeps me wide awake.