?

30

I always thought my condition disappearing would end up with me finally reaching the road to happiness.
My younger self thought everything would be easy once I looked "normal" but what did It change?
Except for people treating me differently and giving me compliments instead of spitting harsh comments?
Except for my relatives that stopped pittying my existence and found me worthy?
Except for people still staring at me but this time with amusement and envy?
Except for me covering those spots to find out how I'd look without them?
What changed?
nothing.
NOTHING.
my insecurities?
they're still there,just a little different this time.
People giving me attention?
still there,just more positively.
Others calling me names?
Yup,still exactly there,just pretty ones this time.

Did vitiligo vanishing give me happiness? For a moment it did but forever? Nope.
It didn't,it wouldn't and it never can because happiness and joy have nothing to do with appearance.
It has nothing to do with others.
It got nothing to do with the entire fucking world.
I learned this a little late.
Or maybe it was always supposed to be this way.
For me to learn it the hard way
For me  to understand it after going through the pain of shattered glasses and withering flowers.
Maybe It was always supposed to be this way.
Maybe this was always meant to occur.
Maybe this is how life is.
A neverending journey of hardships and sorrow to understand the meaning of happiness.
How can someone understand happiness when they haven't felt pain?When they haven't cried due to the overwhelming insecurities surrounding their imagination.
when they haven't lost something precious to know nothing's more precious than themselves.
What they don't realize in the end is no matter what all they'll be left is with a heart full of guilt and a mind captured with regret.