29AM (revive)

recently

recently i have been thinking a little too much

about tracing I love you  into the palm of your hand

I can look to the corners of my room where we sat

I can't lie in my bed without missing your embrace

craving the warmth, your arms cradling my heavy head

you came to my football game today

I spent a little too much time searching the crowd for your face in between plays

didn't listen at half time when our coach was organising the team

I know my spot, and all I could look at was your face,

your hair that's grown longer

wishing I could run over 

but having to wait to put away my water.

i ran over, jumped over the fencing around the pitch to hug you.

its funny how I count down the time I have to wait in between seeing you once more

I saw you again yesterday

we had made plans on the sunday and I couldn't wait

and I sat there, pretending to be ecstatic when you told me

how you kissed a boy.

how you like a boy

and I am not a fucking boy.