[NEW] Carol- what came after

-2- motherhood

A/N

Second chapter is here!! Have fun reading!

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"Do you want blue or red?" Carol asked Therese, as they were together shopping for their apartment. Carol pointed at two rugs, but Therese didn't pay attention at all. Carol had convinced Therese to go out today and to buy some stuff, because she couldn't stand an partly-furnished apartment.

"You with me?" Carol's sultry voice brought Therese back from her being lost in thought. Her head snapped up and she looked at the rugs for a brief moment, shrugging.

"Oh, actually, I like both. You decide." Therese said and looked at her, her mind still not fully present. She wasn't good at making decisions, and she didn't feel in the mood today either. She felt off, somehow.

"No, darling, it's our home. You can't let me decide on everything we buy, you should also pick out some stuff. I want you to feel at home, Therese." Carol said, and sighed. She was working hard to make up for her mistakes, Therese could tell. Yet she still didn't feel like deciding. 

"Red should be fine." She said, not having paid real attention to the rugs anyway. She wanted to go home, and have a coffee. 

"Is something bothering you?"

"Hm?" Therese hummed, not having paid attention once again. Carol shook her head. "Your mind is elsewhere. Are you feeling sick?" Carol asked, her maternal instincts kicking in. She laid the back of her hand on Therese's forehead, checking her temperature. Indeed, Therese was not feeling well. She had felt down for the last days, without knowing a reason for it. 

"Just a headache." Therese mumbled and Carol brushed her hand over hers. 

"Let's get you home, shall we?" 

Therese laid down on the couch as soon as they arrived home, she didn't even bother to wash her hands. She closed her eyes and almost dozed off to sleep, but Carol laid a blanket over her and kissed her forehead, her lips lingered for a few moments. Therese's eyes fluttered open. 

"I'm feeling a bit under the weather, Carol", she muttered and sighed. 

"Poor thing.." Carol whispered and her fingers brushed in soothing circles over Therese's side. 

"Do you need anything? I could get you some tea, or painkillers if you've got a headache, darling." She said softly, but Therese shook her head and asked her to just stay with her. Carol got on the couch too and spooned Therese from behind, kissing the skin below her ear and whispering soothing words into Therese's ear, until she slowly began to doze off. 

In moments like that, Therese felt vividly that Carol was a mother. Carol never talked about Rindy, she never even said her name. Therese tried to approach her and ask her about her daughter, but Carol brushed it off every single time. 

Carol never spoke about her daughter, but in Therese's eyes, the silence spoke volumes. 

Therese knew it wasn't because Carol didn't care, but because it pained Carol unbearable. After she had lost the custody fight with Harge, Carol felt heartbroken. She didn't talk about it, she never did, but Therese could feel her grief. She could see it in Carol's eyes when she stood in front of the bathroom mirror and didn't know Therese was watching. She saw it when Carol went through old pictures from her own childhood, and a picture of Rindy was in between by accident. She could see it in the look of her face when they were grocery shopping together and Carol saw a young girl begging her mother to buy her candy. Therese could see it, and she could feel her lovers pain and loss in such situations.