My creepypasta experiences

Info/Update+Research

So umm, about the proxy trials, someone convinced me that they're real- And wha they been through, it proves me SO wrong. And they're might be a chance that I'm going through proxy trials/training right now without me even knowing it. There's literally so much going on with this shit. Apparently Slenderman is brainwashing me and I need to leave him. Which, is HARD AS FUCK. This man has been bringing me comfort ever since I was 10. I know how I see him is wrong, I know seeing him as a father figure is ABSOLUTELY wrong. But it just comes naturally. I feel like I have some kind of connection with him... I don't know why I feel any of this... I've been re-reading my research and found out some things. 1 I have some symptoms of Slender Sickness(nothing serious) the symptoms I have are listed below.

Symptoms I have of Slender Sickness:
Paranoia
Vomiting(might be because of bulimia)
Occasional nausea
Exhaustion
Fatigue
Amnesia
Headaches
Dejavu
Random pains in linbs/body parts
Dreams of/about him
Violent convulsions
Mood Swings
Hearing loud pitched noise
Extreme aggression to human interaction
Hitting things
Feeling protected
Tics/Twitching(might be because of something undiagnosed)
Feeling hotter
Fixating on one area
Eating habit changes
Feeling observed
Urge to hurt people
Electronic issues
Feeling the urge to inform others about him/what I found
Weird smells
Unmotivated/tired
Hostility towards others
Mental illness worsened
Change in personality

Symptoms of The Obsession:
Obsessively researching him
Drawing the symbol on my body
Thinking about him 24/7
A bit too attached to him
Emotionally attached to him
Drawing symbol on surroundings
Having dreams about him
Drawing him a lot(dunno if it's a symptom-)

I was also researching the whole age thing and decided to write them down. I'll be putting here my personal symptoms at the ages

10:
Being watched
Having dreams
Sensing presences
Loud pitched ringing
Electronic issues

11:
Same thing as 10. A little bit worse tho.

12:
Same thing as 11 but a bit more worse

13:
Same as 12. Things are kinda the same

14(now):
Same things as previous ages. Things are getting A LOT worse and I think they're trying to show themselves to me without going too far(idk how to explain it.

I'm also on level 1 or 2 on the danger levels. On the danger/color scale I think I'm purple because I'm a mix of everything/almost everything. I forgot what the thing is called, but I'm at condemned.

Color scale(my symptoms):
Green- feel watched, staring at fixed point,

Yellow- Sleeping a lot, don't eat much

Red-  lost of appetite, seeing shadows, headaches

Gray- Having either a big appetite or a small one, Feeling more powerful/stronger, wanting to see blood, homicidal thoughts

Purple- drawing the symbol on my body, homicidal thoughts, Drawing the symbol everywhere, wanting to kill

Black- eating too much or too little, Paranoia is getting worse, seeing shadows, homicidal thoughts, wanting to see blood

Levels:
Level 1- You feel Paranoia and watched all the time. No matter where you go, no place is safe. Just be careful and be cautious. You're not in danger for now.

Level 2- You start to hear tapping on windows, doors and more. You have increased Paranoia and will start to isolate yourself from everyone and you start being antisocial and hearing ringing in your ears

Level 3(I lied)- You hear more tapping, become aggressive or irritated easily. Hearing more ringing or it's getting louder. Become weaker from danger(idk wha this means), Feeling ill and having an odd appetite.

Condemned: Seeing shadows, looking at fixated points, Paranoia

I can't really think right now, so I think that's everything. I'm going to keep doing research, I have to. There's probably a 99.9% chance that his proxies or him himself is reading my book, but who knows unless they say(?). If you want more info please let me know. Byee