22. Blame Me

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Samuel Grimes

It all happens too quickly and too slowly at the same time. Some fat guy gets out of the woods with a rifle and starts apologizing and blabbing something as I try my best to help dad to stop bleeding on Carl's stomach. The man blabs about some farmhouse and dad picks up Carl and we all run. Run as fast as we can. I feel adrenaline pumping through my veins like crazy. My little brother was shot. He was shot. He's bleeding severely. There's blood everywhere.

"How far? How far?!" Dad tells as the guy struggles to catch up with him.

"About half a mile. Ask for Hershel. He'll help you. He'll help your boy." Man shouts back as he struggles to run. Shane stays back to make the man move yelling at him for being slow and I just follow my dad to the farmhouse.

He runs in with Carl and then by the time I reach the porch he's walking out. I walked up to him.

"Is he okay? He's gonna be okay?" I ask, looking at my father. He's pale from stress and sweaty from running. He looks like he's about to faint.

"He... uhm... yeah... they... yeah." He mumbles, stuttering.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." I say putting my hands on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "Come on. Let's take this off." I say reaching for his blood stained shirt. Dad while in shock allows me to help him out of his sheriff shirt and I wipe his bloodied arms with the fabric.

By the time I finish Shane finally catches up with that other guy and walks up to us with the same worried expression I'm pretty sure I have right now.

"I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't see him. I'd never do something like that. I didn't see him." The man started apologizing as he caught his breath from the run.

Dad stared at the guy probably thinking if he wanted to lash out at him but then he turned to me. "Well you saw him." He points at the guy and I eye him before turning my gaze back to dad. "You saw him. You could've stopped him. Why didn't you stop him?"

"I tried. It was too late." I mumble staring him in the eyes.

"Well it's no surprise you never try hard enough." Dad spats at my face. I turn my gaze away and stare down. "Ashamed? Very well. You should be." He grabs my shirt, yanking me closer by it. "If anything happens to him. It's your fault. You hear me? And don't even think of getting anywhere close to him." He shoves me making me step back and then storms off back inside the house.

I raise my eyes meeting with Shanes who just sighs and moves inside the house. "Rick." He calls out and I don't hear anything else what they're saying.

I look over at the guy who was still standing a few yards away on the porch and then turn my gaze away walking down the stairs and to find myself a place to be.

It's better not to be in front of my dad's face when he's angry with me like that. I plop down by the tree and stare out on the field. I rip the grass trying to keep my shaking hands busy.

Whistle cuts through the air. Shane. He used to use that whistle to find me when I was a kid and always would hide somewhere to get out of my parents' faces when I disappointed them once another time. I get up and look towards the house, seeing Shane standing by the porch. I make my way to him.

"Hey. Me and that guy Otis are gonna go on a run. You okay here?"

"I'll come with." I say staring into his eyes.

"No. You're staying here."

"I'm not doing a thing. I want to help. I need to help. It's my brother."

"I know. I know. But you gotta stay. Someone should keep an eye on Rick."

"Then I'm gonna go get mom. He'd want to see her a lot more than me."

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