Deaths Fate

Chapter Eight

Hyun had left soon after, leaving his piece of pizza with only one bite taken out of it and the rest of the pizza behind. The bottle of Coca Cola was also left. It didn't seem like he had really been looking for someone to eat with but that he wanted an excuse to visit me. I was still thinking about the interaction that we had together three hours later while I laid in bed, sitting in the dark.

Why would he want to promise to keep me safe? I knew the excuse that he gave me but it didn't seem like a good enough reason to want to promise someone. And what did he mean that there was more and I would find out in all due time? Hyun was definitely one of the strangest people I had ever met but there was a part of me that was enthralled by it. He was different, there was a sort of glow about him and I had the chance to see it.

I turned onto my side, looking over at the curtains that were slightly propped open letting a soft mist of moonlight in. It was just after midnight and my mind was still on overdrive. There were too many thoughts going on that it was hard to quiet them down and think properly. Hyun had definitely done a good job of distracting me from all of the bad thoughts that usually lurked in my head and at the moment I didn't feel any pain.

It was a relief to know that I could feel more than pain and suffering but it was also one of the scariest things to think about. How could someone come into my life and bring so much light into it? I don't think any person should have this type of power, it was unhealthy.

I pressed my hand down on my chest, waiting to see if anything would happen, but my heart remained intact for the time being.

How long would it be before I saw Hyun again? I was already anticipating the next time that we would meet and it made me nervous. How did I become a school girl over night? I knew the only reason I was becoming so dependent on him though was because of the fact that he quieted my demons. He helped me in ways that no therapist or medical intervention had ever done.

I didn't like him, let alone love him, but I loved the way that he made me feel. How just his scent was enough to soften the burn that I felt.

I couldn't let myself become attached, or more so, I couldn't let him become attached to me. If it had to be a one way street I would take the brunt of it and save him from any pain. That would be the kindest thing I could do for him in this instance. If he wanted to get close to me and protect me, I would have to start making up rules and if the rules didn't work I would have to cut off contact with him.

At the moment I was fighting between what was right and what I wanted, which might have been altogether very selfish of me because what I wanted was overruling what I should be doing. But the idea of doing what was right, caused a whole different type of pain to wrack my body.

In the morning, when I had a clearer headspace, then I would start thinking more rationally but at the moment I just wanted to pretend. It would be nice to pretend for the moment.

Soon I was falling into a restless sleep with thoughts of Hyun playing in my head on repeat. I could feel my body tossing and turning repeatedly as I started to doze in and out of consciousness.

I had no idea how long I laid there jumping from one memory to another and if I was actually dreaming about him or if it was real. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, caressing lightly and I tried to turn to see who it was.

"Hyun?" I whispered knowing that I had to be in a dream right now because there was no way he was actually here in my bedroom with me. I had seen him leave and my bedroom door never opened.

Hyun was indeed there, he sat on the edge of my bed, staring down at me in the dark. This was a very realistic dream. I could barely peel my eyes open enough, it felt like the dream I had with him the night before, he was there but I knew he wasn't really there, even as real as his touch had felt.