Deaths Fate

Chapter Nine

Hyun did not come and visit me in my dreams for the rest of the night.

I tossed and turned restlessly, pushing against my heart as I gasped out. Feeling wave after wave of the burning lava corrode my body, destroying everything that I hoped had had been pushed far away with the presence of Hyun in my life. I had thought for a moment I was safe but even Dream Hyun could do nothing for me. Of course this wasn't his fight whether it was real life Hyun or the one that I held in my dreams.

The anguish in my heart and chest overpowered every thing else, and I couldn't focus on anything that had happened in my dream or any real life scenarios. I still had partially hoped that having some type of thought of Hyun or even thinking about his presence would be enough to ease some of the discomfort I felt but I couldn't even get myself to focus enough on a thought of him.

Soon sunlight started to stream in through the partially opened curtains and I could feel some of the pain becoming more bearable. The pain always happened to be worse at night when I was alone and left to my own devices. Or maybe it was just because I was becoming used to it again. It was something I had handled well enough when I had been alone but since Hyun had came into my life I hadn't had to feel it for moments, I was able to get away without suffering, so when the pain did come back it was amplified. I needed to suffer.

I took a few deep breaths before pushing myself up in my bed. My vision blurred for a second as the pounding in my head became more pronounced, I had been so focused on the burning through my body I hadn't noticed the headache that accompanied it until now.

I rubbed my temples carefully, trying to remember the way that Dream Hyun had done last night. Thinking about his touch now, had started to cause some of the feeling in my chest to calm but it didn't do enough.

Maybe the kiss that I had in my dream had been in itself an omen. With something so sweet and perfect you could only go down from there. I had the one streak of great luck when he had came into my life but because I had something so good, we could only get worse from here.

It took me a lot longer to get ready this morning. Everything hurt, and it was hard to focus on one thing or another. I ended up smacking my elbow into my dresser and my shin into my bed frame. Spilled my toothpaste onto the bathroom sink when I had meant to put it on my toothbrush.

Staring into the mirror I could see the dark bags under my dull brown eyes. When I was younger my eyes used to be so big and bright. Everyone would compliment them because they were a unique hazelish brown but now they were just dull. My skin looked more sickly and swallow than what it used to be, even in comparison with yesterday, it had a small shimmer of the russet tan but today it was tinged in grey.

I was getting more and more sick with each day that passed. Losing more of myself with every minute that I was alive. I doubt my family would even recognize me now. I was a shell of my former self and it only got worse with each day that passed.

Once I had finished getting myself ready I went to my living room and propped myself onto my couch. It was Sunday. Just one more day to go then I could distract myself with work for five days. I wouldn't have to worry about being stuck with my own thoughts I could delve into all of my paperwork, phone calls and meetings.

Where most people dreaded the work week, I dreaded not working. I dreaded the weekends.

I yanked my iPad up from the coffee table and went to a new fresh sheet so I could draw. Pressing my knee against my chest, trying to help alleviate the sting, I started to sketch. I wasn't sure what I was drawing but I need to draw, my pen drawing lines after lines across the page, trying to get my unspoken thoughts out.

It was while drawing that I had started to feel the hair on the back of my neck raise and got the overwhelming and foreboding feeling of being watched. I tried to ignore it as much as I could as my pen moved quickly on its own accord, with little thought from me.